t to a chamber, confined to his bed
Where lay an old gentleman, ill with the gout,
_And wishing some bad fate might thence drag him out!_
_Pug_, missing his footing, 'midst vapour and fume,
That instant with _Puss_ tumbled into the room.

[Illustration]

Grimed over with soot, they kick'd up such a rout,
And caper'd the sick man's apartment about,
And chatter'd and squall'd in a manner so hideous,
Like young imps of darkness, that, not to be tedious,
The sufferer forgot both his gout and his prayers,
And scamper'd, pursued by these phantoms, down stairs!

[Illustration]

There sat in the parlour a medical man,
And thither _pursued_ and _pursuers_ now ran;--
And _Puss_ and the _Monkey_ grown fiercer and bolder,
Physician and Patient seized each by his shoulder,
Who raised such a yell, that the _chorus_ resembled
A legion of mad-caps from Bedlam assembled!

[Illustration]

The tumult each wonder-struck inmate alarm'd;
At length on assistance they ventured, well arm'd,
And entered the scene of dismay and despair,--
When, lo! no invaders of quiet were there!
But Doctor and Patient lay stretch'd on the floor,
Not wotting of terror a forthcoming cure.

[Illustration]

The incident soon was of mystery clear'd,--
The owner of _Pug_ and _Grimalkin_ appear'd;--
"My _Monkey_ and _Cat_ have created alarm;
I hope," he observed, "you have not taken harm:"--
Then cautiously peering the chamber about,
He dragg'd, from the Chimney, both intruders out.

[Illustration]

Alarm now gave way to good humour and fun,--
"Much harm to my friend," said the Patient, "is done;
Your _Ape_ pill and potion has put to the rout,
And cured me, I thank him, at once of the _Gout_."
He then to the _Monkey_ made reverence profound,
Who _salam'd_ politely the company round.

[Illustration]

The _Doctor_ a lesson thus learn'd, that, despite
Of physic, the Gout may be cured by a _fright_:
And, since this affair, now and then on the sly
In similar cases same means he will try.--
To show that no malice or envy he knew,
He shook hands with _Pug_, and each party withdrew.

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1. Alphabet of Goody Two-Shoes.

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