se; "for," said he, "on my life
I fear it was _poison_ the bowl did contain.
_Oh dear! yes_, it _was_ poison; I now feel the pain!"
"And what made you dry, sir?" the wife sharply cried.
"'Twould serve you just right if from poison you died;
And you've done a _fine_ job, and you'd now better march,
_For just see, you brute, you have drunk all my starch!_"

THE GREEN GOOSE.

Mr. Bogardus "gin a treat,"
And a green goose, best of birds to eat,
Delicious, savory, fat and sweet,
Formed the dish the guests to greet;
But such, we know,
Is small for a "blow,"
And many times around won't go;
So Mr. Bogardus chanced to reflect,
And with a wisdom circumspect,
He sent round cards to parties select,
Some six or so the goose to dissect,
The day and hour defining;
And then he laid in lots of things,
That might have served as food for kings,
Liquors drawn from their primal springs,
And all that grateful comfort brings
To epicures in dining.

But Mr. Bogardus's brother Sim,
With moral qualities rather dim,
Copied the message sent to him,
In his most clerkly writing,
And sent it round to Tom, and Dick,
And Harry, and Jack, and Frank, and Nick,
And many more, to the green goose "pick"
Most earnestly inviting;
He laid it on the green goose thick,
Their appetites exciting.

'Twas dinner time by the Old South Clock;
Bogardus waited the sounding knock
Of friends to come at the moment, "chock,"
To try his goose, his game, his hock,
And hoped they would not dally;
When one, and two, and three, and four,
And running up the scale to a score,
And adding to it many more,
Who all their Sunday fixings wore,
Came in procession to the door,
And crowded in on his parlor floor,
Filling him with confusion sore,
Like an after-election rally!

"Gentlemen," then murmured he,
"To what unhoped contingency
Am I owing for this felicity,
A visit thus unexpected?"
Then they held their cards before his eyes,
And he saw, to his infinite surprise,
That some sad dog had taken a rise
On him, and his hungry friends likewise,
And _whom_ he half suspected;
But there was Sim,
Of morals dim,
With a face as long, and dull, and grim,
As though _he_ the ire reflected.

Then forth the big procession went,
With mirth and anger equally blent;
To think they didn't get the scent