ed to give an account of
his travels in Central Africa.

"Formerly of St. Cuthbert's," described Wilkins correctly, for he had
been sent down after one term, and since then had been living an
alcoholic existence in a farm-house a few miles outside Oxford. His
appearance was comical, but he was really a dreadful barbarian, who
thought that it was better to gain notoriety as a hard drinker than to
be forgotten entirely. He began by telling us that he had never been
to Central Africa, and hoped sincerely that he never should go. He
also told us that the reason why he was addressing the Society was a
rumour that his aunt had met several African explorers at dinner, but
he wished to say that she was no more of a lion-hunter than he was. In
this way he strove desperately to be amusing, but the struggle was very
painful, and I was glad when he had finished.

The President then broke his wand of office, which for some obscure
reason was a bulrush painted white, and Thornton and Webb, who had been
sitting behind the table, were put up for election and called upon to
speak. Webb developed a stammer, and although he had his speech
written on his shirt-cuff, no one could hear what he said. He was,
however, received with a lot of applause, so that Thornton might think
the election was genuine; Dennison had certainly packed the meeting
with great care.

Thornton's speech was, in its way, almost too amusing, for I found it
very hard to believe that any one who was not more or less mad could
possibly make it. He spoke at a tremendous pace, sometimes talking
utter nonsense, and then as if by chance saying something almost
sensible. Voting-papers were given to twenty-five picked men after he
had finished, and Thornton was elected President by fourteen votes to
eleven. The meeting finished by Thornton thanking everybody in a voice
which sounded tearful, and then he announced that the annual dinner of
the Hedonists would be held at The Sceptre on the following Friday
evening, at which the ceremonies of inauguration would be held, and he
would be the only guest of the Society in accordance with its ancient
and honourable traditions.

"Don't you think he is mad?" I said to Jack as I walked across the quad
with him.

"The only danger is that they may find out that he is rotting the whole
lot of them. He overdid the thing to-night. Come and see Murray."

We found Murray waiting to hear what had happened at the meeting, and
f