as I had been in a household where every individual lived
all day in the sight of every other member of the family, never wanted
either cheerful words or the sense of silent companionship, this grand
isolation of mine was very formidable; and the more so, because M. de
la Tourelle, as landed proprietor, sportsman, and what not, was
generally out of doors the greater part of every day, and sometimes for
two or three days at a time. I had no pride to keep me from associating
with the domestics; it would have been natural to me in many ways to
have sought them out for a word of sympathy in those dreary days when I
was left so entirely to myself, had they been like our kindly German
servants. But I disliked them, one and all; I could not tell why. Some
were civil, but there was a familiarity in their civility which
repelled me; others were rude, and treated me more as if I were an
intruder than their master's chosen wife; and yet of the two sets I
liked these last the best.

The principal male servant belonged to this latter class. I was very
much afraid of him, he had such an air of suspicious surliness about
him in all he did for me; and yet M. de la Tourelle spoke of him as
most valuable and faithful. Indeed, it sometimes struck me that
Lefebvre ruled his master in some things; and this I could not make
out. For, while M. de la Tourelle behaved towards me as if I were some
precious toy or idol, to be cherished, and fostered, and petted, and
indulged, I soon found out how little I, or, apparently, any one else,
could bend the terrible will of the man who had on first acquaintance
appeared to me too effeminate and languid to exert his will in the
slightest particular. I had learnt to know his face better now; and to
see that some vehement depth of feeling, the cause of which I could not
fathom, made his grey eye glitter with pale light, and his lips
contract, and his delicate cheek whiten on certain occasions. But all
had been so open and above board at home, that I had no experience to
help me to unravel any mysteries among those who lived under the same
roof. I understood that I had made what Madame Rupprecht and her set
would have called a great marriage, because I lived in chateau with
many servants, bound ostensibly to obey me as a mistress. I understood
that M. de la Tourelle was fond enough of me in his way--proud of my
beauty, I dare say (for he often enough spoke about it to me)--but he
was also jealous, and suspi