-r-r (the needle on the disk)
La-dee-dum, dee-doodle, di-dee-day (the orchestral introduction)

Sometimes when I feel sad
And things look blue,
I wish the boy I had
Was one like you--

"For the love of Pete! Shut off that damn silly thing!"

"I admire your taste, Irving!"

"Can it!"

"Well, what will you have, then?"

"Play that Russian thing, the 'Danse des Buffons.'"

"Don't play anything."

"Lord! I wish some one would send us some new records."

"Yes, instead of knitted wristers--what?"

"And mufflers."

"Talking about wristers, how many pair do you think I've received?
Eight!"

"You try to head 'em off. Doesn't do any good. They keep coming just
the same."

"It's because they are easy to make. Working wristers and mufflers is
a method of dodging the knitting draft."

"Well, now, I call that gratitude! You don't deserve to have any
friends."

"Isn't it the truth? Have you ever known of a soldier or an aviator
who wore wristers?"

"I give mine to my mechanician. He sends them home, and his wife
unravels the yarn and makes sweaters for the youngsters."

"Think of the waste energy. Harness up the wrist-power and you could
keep three aircraft factories going day and night."

"Oh, well, if it amuses the women, what's the difference?"

"That's not the way to look at it. They ought to be doing something
useful."

"Plenty of them are; don't forget that, old son."

"Anybody got anything to read?"

"Now, if they would send us more books--"

"And magazines--"

"Two weeks ago, Blake, you were wishing they wouldn't send so many."

"What of it? We were having fine weather then."

"There ought to be some system about sending parcels to the front."

"The Germans have it, they say. Soldier wants a book, on engineering,
for example, or a history, or an anthology of recent poetry. Gets it
at once through Government channels."

"Say what you like about the Boches, they don't know the meaning of
waste energy."

"But you can't have method and efficiency in a democracy."

"There you go! Same old fallacy!"

"No fallacy about it! Efficiency and personal freedom don't go
together. They never have and they never will."

"And what does our personal freedom amount to? When you get down to
brass tacks, personal freedom is a mighty poor name for it, speaking
for four fifths of the population."

"Germany doesn't want it, our brand, and we can't force it on her."