rinity, and two
from Third Trinity, besides the Cox.

_First W. I. M._ What's your difficulty? First is first, and Third's
third, all the world over. Don't you see, the First Trinity men come
first in the crew, and then the Third Trinity men.

_Inquirer._ But why don't some of 'em call themselves Second Trinity
men?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, that's one of their silly bits of College
etiquette. These chaps at the Universities are never happy unless they
do things quite differently from all the rest of the world.

_Inquirer._ This beastly paper says, "the Cambridge stroke rowed much
longer to-day."

_First W. I. M._ Well, what then?

_Inquirer._ Oh! nothing; only I thought they all rowed exactly the
same distance when they're practising; so I don't quite see how any of
'em could have rowed longer than the rest.

_First W. I. M._ I daresay they made him row a good bit by himself;
they often do that to give the stroke some extra practice. He wants it
more than any of the rest.

_Second W. I. M._ Why?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, ah--well, because he's got to set the stroke for
the others, or something of that sort.

_Inquirer._ How far do they row in the race?

_Second W. I. M._ About six miles or so.

_Inquirer._ By Jove, then, how on earth do they manage to get over
all that distance with so few strokes. (_Refers to paper._) It says,
"Oxford rowed 37 all the way, while Cambridge contented themselves
with a well-pulled 35." (_With a happy inspiration._) If Cambridge
can do it in 35 strokes, while Oxford take 37, it looks jolly like
Cambridge winning by two strokes, don't it?

_First W. I. M._ All right; I'll lay you the odds on Oxford.

_Second W. I. M._ Good, I'll take 'em to five pounds. Oxford can't
win.

_First W. I. M._ (_confidently_). Cambridge can't win. Anyway, I'll
lay you ten pounds to five.

_Inquirer._ I should like to have a bet with somebody.

_Average Man._ You'd better write to one of the Presidents of the
University-Boat Clubs. They're always ready to oblige a keen fellow
like you with a bet.

_Inquirer._ Of course. That's my best plan. I'll write to-day.

[_Terminus._

* * * * *

UPON TERMS.

(_A Forensic Drama of the Future._)

[In a recent trial, Mr. Justice HAWKINS corrected a learned
Counsel who talked about Witnesses "coming up to the
scratch."]

_The Judge_ (_taking his seat_). I think, Mr. SMALLFEE, that you were
examining a