"That certainly is a consideration," said I, thoughtfully; "but can't
you have--well, brain-fever--yes, that's it, and can't you get some
friend to send word to her?"

"That's all very well; but, you see, I'd have to keep my room. If I
went out, she'd hear of it. She's got a wonderful way of hearing about
my movements. She'll find out about the widow before the week's over.
Oh, no! that's not to be done."

"Well, then," said I, desperately, "let her find it out. The blow would
then fall a little more gently."

"You seem to me," said Jack, rather huffily, "to propose that I should
quietly proceed to break her heart. No! Hang it, man, if it comes to
that I'll do it openly, and make a clean breast of it, without shamming
or keeping her in suspense."

"Well, then," I responded, "why not break off with the widow?"

"Break off with the widow!" cried Jack, with the wondering accent of a
man who has heard some impossible proposal.

"Certainly; why not?"

"Will you be kind enough to inform me what thing short of death could
ever deliver me out of her hands?" asked Jack, mildly.

"Elope, as you proposed."

"That's the very thing I thought of; but the trouble is, in that case
she would devote the rest of her life to vengeance. 'Hell hath no fury
like a woman wronged,' you know. She'd move heaven and earth, and never
end, till I was drummed out of the regiment. No, my boy. To do that
would be to walk with open eyes to disgrace, and shame, and infamy,
with a whole community, a whole regiment, and the Horse-Guards at the
back of them, all banded together to crush me. Such a fate as this
would hardly be the proper thing to give to a wife that a fellow
loves."

"Can't you manage to make the widow disgusted with you?"

"No, I can't," said Jack, peevishly. "What do you mean?"

"Why, make it appear as though you only wanted to marry her for her
money."

"Oh, hang it, man! how could I do that? I can't play a part, under any
circumstances, and that particular part would be so infernally mean,
that it would be impossible. I'm such an ass that, if she were even to
hint at that, I'd resent it furiously.

"Can't you make her afraid about your numerous gallantries?"

"Afraid? why she glories in them. So many feathers in her cap, and all
that, you know."

"Can't you frighten her about your debts and general extravagance--hint
that you're a gambler, and so on?"

"And then she'd inform me, very affectionately, that she int