tic--by his sum
_tottle_, and by Joey H---e, himself--

"Appear!"

[_Humbug descends, amidst a discharge of Promethean and copperplate
thunder_.]

"'Tis well! Now perch upon the tip, and guide my pen, and contrive that
the wickedness and hypocrisy of the individual may be forgotten in the
absurdity of the scene."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The grooms made no scruple, after the catastrophe, to state all that had
passed between them and their master; it was spread through Cheltenham
with the usual rapidity of all scandal, in a place where people have
nothing to do but to talk about each other. The only confutation which
the report received, was the conduct of Mr Rainscourt. He was
positively inconsolable--he threw himself upon the remains, declaring
that nothing should separate him from his dear--dear Clara. The honest
old curate, who had attended Mrs Rainscourt in her last moments, had
great difficulty, with the assistance of the men servants, in removing
him to another chamber on the ensuing day. Some declared that he
repented of his unkind behaviour, and that he was struck with remorse;
the females observed, that men never knew the value of a wife until they
lost her; others thought his grief was all humbug, although they
acknowledged, at the same time, that they could not find out any
interested motives to induce him to act such a part.

But when Mr Rainscourt insisted that the heart of the deceased should
be embalmed, and directed it to be enshrined in an urn of massive gold,
then all Cheltenham began to think that he was sincere,--at least all
the ladies did; and the gentlemen, married or single, were either too
wise or too polite to offer any negative remark, when his conduct was
pronounced to be a pattern for all husbands. Moreover, Mr Potts, the
curate, vouched for his sincerity, in consequence of the handsome
gratuity which he had received for consigning Mrs Rainscourt to the
vault, and the liberal largess to the poor upon the same occasion. "How
could any man prove his sincerity more?" thought Mr Potts, who, blinded
by gratitude, forgot that although in affliction our hearts are softened
towards the miseries of others, on the other hand, we are quite as (if
not more) liberal when intoxicated with good fortune.

Be it as it may, the conduct of Mr Rainscourt was pronounced most
exemplary. All hints and surmises of former variance were voted
scandalo