ed and worried by the rest, until,
either by boldly defending himself or pertinaciously refusing to quit,
he eventually obtains a domiciliation, and becomes an acknowledged
member of the fraternity."

"Why, Mr Collier," observed the captain, "you seem to be quite _au
fait_ as to literary arrangements."

"I ought to be, sir," replied the clerk, "for in the course of my life I
have attempted to become an author, and practised as a reviewer."

"Indeed! And did you fail in your attempt at authorship?"

"My work was never printed, sir, for no bookseller would undertake to
publish it. I tried the whole town; no man would give himself the
trouble to look over the MS. It was said that the public taste was not
that way, and that it would not do. At last I received a letter of
introduction from an old acquaintance to his uncle, who was a literary
character. He certainly did read some parts of my performance."

"And what then?"

"Why, sir, he shook his head--told me with a sneer that, as an author, I
should never succeed; but he added, with a sort of encouraging smile,
that, from some parts of the MS which he had perused, he thought that he
could find employment for me in the reviewing line, if I chose to
undertake it."

"My pride was hurt, and I answered that I could not agree with him, as I
considered that it required the ability to write a book yourself to
enable you to decide upon the merits of others."

"Well, I must say that I agree with you," replied the captain. "Proceed
in your story, for I am interested."

"My friend answered,--`By no means, my dear sir; a _damned bad author_
generally makes a _very good reviewer_. Indeed, sir, to be candid with
you, I never allow any gentleman to review for me, unless he has met
with a misfortune similar to yours. It is one of the necessary
qualifications of a good reviewer that he should have failed as an
author; for without the exacerbated feelings arising from
disappointment, he would not possess gall sufficient for his task, and
his conscience would stand in his way when he was writing against it, if
he were not spurred on by the keen probes of envy.'"

"And he convinced you?"

"My poverty did, sir, if he did not. I worked many months for him; but
I had better have earned my bread as a common labourer."

"Reviews ought to pay well, too," observed Macallan; "they are
periodicals in great demand."

"They are so," replied Captain M---; "and the reasons are obvi