her visage; and I remember, she
catched my girdle when I kneeled to her, and swore, 'By God's son I am
no queen, that _man_ is above me;--who gave him command to come here so
soon? I did send him on other business.' It was long before more
gracious discourse did fall to my hearing; but I was then put out of my
trouble, and bid go home. I did not stay to be bidden twice; if all the
Irish rebels had been at my heels, I should not have made better speed,
for I did now flee from one whom I both loved and feared too[135]."

[Note 135: Nugae.]

* * * * *

The fate of Essex remained long in suspense; while several little
circumstances seemed to indicate the strength of her majesty's
resentment against him; especially her denying, to the personal request
of lady Walsingham, permission for the earl to write to his countess,
her daughter, who was in childbed and exceedingly troubled that she
neither saw nor heard from her husband; and afterwards her refusing to
allow his family physician access to him, though he was now so ill as to
be attended by several other physicians, with whom however Dr. Brown was
permitted to consult. At the same time it was given out, that if he
would beg his liberty for the purpose of going back to Ireland, it would
be granted him;--but he appeared resolute never to return thither, and
professed a determination of leading henceforth a retired life in the
country, free from all participation in public affairs.

Pamphlets were written on his case, but immediately suppressed by
authority, and perhaps at the request of the earl himself, whose
behaviour at this time exhibited nothing but duty and submission. His
sister lady Rich, and lady Southampton, quitted Essex house and went
into the country, because the resort of company to them had given
offence. He himself neither saw nor desired to see any one. His very
servants were afraid to meet in any place to make merry lest it might be
ill taken. "At the court," says Whyte, "lady Scrope is only noted to
stand firm to him, for she endures much at her majesty's hands because
she daily does all kind offices of love to the queen in his behalf. She
wears all black; she mourns and is pensive, and joys in nothing but in a
solitary being alone. And 'tis thought she says much that few would
venture to say but herself." This generous woman was daughter to the
first lord Hunsdon, and nearly related both to the queen and to Essex.
She wa