liceman happened
along and "chipped into the game" with the remark that if there was any
fighting to be done he would himself take a hand in it.

That was my chance. For what had I taken boxing lessons unless I could
at least do a policeman? "Come on!" I yelled and then I smashed him. He
was not the only policeman on the beat, however. There were others--in
fact, several of them, and they clubbed me good and plenty, finally
leading me away with the nippers on.

Arriving at the police station, and a pretty tough-looking object I was,
as you may imagine, I immediately sent for the President of the club,
who, as good luck would have it, was also a Police Commissioner. When he
put in an appearance he looked at me in astonishment and then asked me
what I had been doing.

I told him that I hadn't been doing anything, but that I had tried to do
the whole police force, and with very poor success. I was released on
honor that night and the next morning appeared before Alderman Buck, who
listened to both sides of the story, and then let me go, thinking by my
appearance, doubtless, that I had already been punished enough. After
court had adjourned we all adjourned on my motion to the nearest saloon,
where we had several rounds of drink and then--well, then I started in to
celebrate a victory that was, after all, a good deal more like a defeat.

While thus engaged I was unfortunate enough to run up against the young
lady that I had already determined to make Mrs. Anson, and not being in
the best of condition, she naturally enough did not like it, but as
Rudyard Kipling says--that is another story.

That experience ended the wild-oats business for me, however, and
although the crop that I had sown was, comparatively speaking, a small
one, yet it was more than sufficient for all my needs, and I now regret
at times that I was foolish enough to sow any at all.

The only other row that I ever had of any consequence took place on a
street car one day when I was going out to the ball grounds, a game
between the Athletics and Chicagos being scheduled for decision. The
most intense rivalry existed at that time between these two
organizations and the feeling among their partisans ran high. A
gentleman on the car--at least he was dressed like a gentleman--asked me
what I thought in regard to the relative strength of the two
organizations. At that time I had some $1,500 invested in club stock and
naturally my feelings leaned toward the c