suitable retaliation by the Boches. The retaliation is just
dying down._

CHARACTERS. ALBERT--_Round-eyed, rotund, red-cheeked,
yellow-haired, and deliberate; in civil life probably a
drayman._ JIM--_Small, lean, sallow, grey-eyed, with a kind
of quiet restlessness; in civil life probably a mechanic with
leanings towards Socialism._ POZZIE--_A thick-set, low-browed,
impassive, silent_ _country youth, with a face the colour of
the soil._ JINKS--_An old soldier, red, lean, wrinkled, with
very blue eyes. His face is rough-hewn, almost grotesque
like a gargoyle. In his eyes there is a perpetual glint of
humour, and in the poise of his head a certain irrepressible
jauntiness._

ALBERT (_whose eyes are more staring than ever, his cheeks pendulous
and crimson, his general air that of a partly deflated air-cushion_).
Gawd's truth!

JINKS (_wagging his head_). Well, my old sprig o' mint, what's wrong
wi' you?

ALBERT. It ain't right. (_Sententiously_) It's agin natur'. Flesh an'
blood weren't made for this sort o' think.

JIM. It ain't flesh an' blood that can't stand it. It's Mind. Look at
old Pozzie. 'E's flesh an' blood, and don't turn an 'air! For myself
I'll go potty one o' these days.

JINKS (_slapping POZZIE on the back_). You don't take no notice, do
you, old lump o' duff?

POZZIE. Oi woulden moind if I got moy rations; but a chap can't keep a
good 'eart if 'e's got an empty stummick.

JIM (_sarcastically_). You keep yer 'eart in yer stomach, don't yer?
You ain't got no mind, you ain't. Jinks was born potty, an' the rest
of us'll all go potty except you. It's you an' yer Ally Sloper's
Cavalry what'll win the war, I don't think!

ALBERT. What I wants ter know is 'ow long the bleedin' war's a-goin'
ter last. If it goes on much longer I'll be potty if I ain't a gone
'un.

JIM. There's only one way of ending it as I knows on.

ALBERT. What's that, matey?

JIM. Put all the bleedin' politicians on both sides in the bleedin'
trenches. Give 'em a week's bombardment, an' send 'em away for a week
to make peace, with a promise of a fortnight's intense at the end of
it if they've failed. They'd find a way, sure enough.

ALBERT (admiringly). Ah, that they would an' all. If old "Wait
and See" 'ad been 'ere these last four days 'e wouldn't talk about
fightin' to the last man!

JINKS. Don't talk stoopid. 'Oo began the bloomin' war? Don't yer know
what you're fight