Sooner or later the child must learn to obey; on that
there can be no two opinions. Nevertheless, I think there can be no
doubt that far more harm is done by an over-emphasis of authority than
by its neglect. If the nurse or mother is of strong character, and the
authority is exercised persistently and remorselessly, so that the
whole life of the child is dominated, much as the recruit's existence
in the barrack yard is dominated by the drill sergeant, his
independence of nature is crushed. He is certain to become a
colourless and uninteresting child; he runs a grave risk of growing
sly, broken-spirited, and a currier of favour. If a child is
ruthlessly punished for disobedience from his earliest years, there
is, it need hardly be said, a grave risk that he will learn to lie to
save his skin. I have seen a few such cases of what I may call the
remorseless exercise of authority, and the result has not been
pleasing. Fortunately, perhaps, not many women have the heart to adopt
this attitude to the waywardness of little children--a waywardness to
which their whole nature compels them by their pressing need to
cultivate tactile sensations, to experiment, and to explore.
Therefore, much more commonly, the authority is exercised
intermittently and capriciously, with the result that the child's
judgment is clouded and confused. Conduct which is received
indulgently or even encouraged at one moment is sternly reprimanded at
another. Every one who has the management of little children must
above all see to it, whatever the degree of stringency in discipline
which they decide to adopt, that their attitude is always consistent.
The less that is forbidden the better, but when the line is drawn it
must be adhered to. If once the child learns that the force which
restrains him can be made to yield to his own efforts, the future is
black indeed. From that day he sets himself to strike down authority
with a success which encourages him to further efforts. I have known a
child of five years terrorise his mother and get his own way by the
threat, "I will go into one of my furies."

The difficulty of successfully enforcing authority, and of carrying
off the victory if that authority is disputed, should make mothers
wary of drawing too tight a rein. The conflict between parent and
child must always be distressing and must always be prejudicial to the
child, whatever its outcome, whether it brings to him victory or
defeat. He learns from i