w Joe Digg standing up in a pew near the door.

"Put him out!" "It's a shame!" "Disgraceful!" were some of the cries
which were heard in the room.

"Mr. Digg is a citizen of Backley," said the Chairman, rapping
vigorously to call the audience to order, "and though not a member of
the Association, he is entitled to a hearing."

"Thank you, Mr. Chairman," said Joe Digg, when quiet was restored; "your
words are the first respectful ones I've ever heard in Backley, an' I do
assure you I appreciate 'em. But I want the audience to understand I
ain't drunk--I haven't had a cent for two days, an' nobody's treated
me."

By this time the audience was very quiet, but in a delicious fever of
excitement. A drunkard speaking right out in a temperance meeting!--they
had never heard of such a thing in their lives. Verily, Backley was
going to add one to the roll of modest villages made famous by unusual
occurrences.

"I 'spose, Mr. Chairman," continued Joe Digg, "that the pint of
temp'rance meetin's is to stop drunkenness, an' as I'm about the only
fully developed drunkard in town, I'm most likely to know what this
meetin's 'mounted to."

Squire Breet inclined his head slightly, as if to admit the correctness
of Joe Digg's position.

"I believe ev'ry word the gentleman has said," continued the drunkard,
"and"--here he paused long enough to let an excitable member exclaim
"Bless the Lord!" and burst into tears--"and he could have put it all a
good deal stronger without stretchin' the truth. An' the sorrer of a
drunkard's home can be talked about 'till the Dictionary runs dry, an'
then ye don't know nothin' 'bout it. But hain't none of ye ever laughed
'bout lockin' the stable door after the hoss is stolen? That's just what
this temp'rance meetin' an' all the others comes to."

A general and rather indignant murmur of dissent ran through the
audience.

"Ye don't believe it," continued Joe Digg, "but I've been a drunkard,
an' I'm one yet, an' ye all got sense enough to understan' that I ort to
know best about it."

"Will the gentleman have the kindness to explain?" asked the lecturer.

"I'm a comin' to it, sir, ef my head'll see me through," replied the
drunkard. "You folks all b'leeve that its lovin' liquor that makes men
drink it; now, 'taint no sech thing. I never had a chance to taste fancy
drinks, but I know that every kind of liquor _I_ ever got hold of was
more like medicine than anything nice."

"Then what _do_ they