u are particularly gifted.

"In one respect your head resembles that of the Father of His Country.
It lacks adhesiveness. So does GEORGE'S--on the postage stamps.

"Unlike most subjects, your organ of firmness is not confined to any one
spot, but is spread over the entire skull. This phenomenon is due to
your being what we technically call 'mule-headed'--a fine specimen
which--"

"Excuse me," said I, unwilling any longer to impose on his good nature,
"I feel I must make sure of that other train, so I will just trouble you
for that organ of firmness and the rest of them. I never travel without
them." Then, hurrying all my phrenology into my hat, I started down the
street.

I wonder he didn't say something about my memory's being below
par--somehow I quite forgot to pay him for shaving me.

Yours, without recourse,

SARSFIELD YOUNG.

* * * * *

[Illustration: VERY "HARD CIDER."

THE PIPPINS OF THE JOHN REAL DEMOCRACY, (MESSRS. MORRISSEY, O'BRIEN, AND
FOX,) GETTING THEIR LAST SQUEEZE FROM GOVERNOR HOFFMAN.]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN IN GOTHAM.

He Strays among Sharpers, and "Sees the Elephant."

There's many things in the big city which pleases me, and causes us
_all_ to feel hily tickled over our success as a Republic.

At the present writin', many furrin' nations would give all their old
butes and shoes if, like us, they could throw their roolers overboard
every 4 years, and have a new deel.

Our institutions are, many of 'em, sound: altho' I've diskivered to my
sorrer, that some of the inhabitants of New York are about as
puselanermus a set of dead-beats which ever stood up.

While sojernin' here, my distinguished looks kicked up quite a sensation
wherever I put in an appearance. On one occasion, a man stepped up to me
who thought I was a banker, and richer than Creosote, and wanted me to
change a $100 bill. I diden't do it. Not much. No, sir-ee!--they
coulden't fool the old man on that ancient dodge.

But, friend PUNCHINELLO, to my disgust and shagrin', I must acknolidge
the corn, and say, I hain't quite so soon as I allers give myself credit
for bein', as the sekel of this letter will show.

Last Saturday P.M. I was a sailin' down Dye Street with my bloo cotton
umbreller under my arm, feelin' all so fine and so gay.

When near the corner of West Street I turned around just in time to see
a ragged boy pick up a pocket-book.

As the af