on his nose, and knock him down."

"Yes, I see what you mean."

"Quite so--well, the moment you have knocked him down, he will jump up
and go for you again. You must knock him down again; and you must keep
on doing this, until the dog is thoroughly cowed and exhausted. Once he
is thoroughly cowed, the thing's done--dog's as gentle as a lamb after
that."

"Oh!" says my uncle, rising from his chair, "you think that a good way,
do you?"

"Certainly," replied the next-door-but-one man; "it never fails."

"Oh! I wasn't doubting it," said my uncle; "only it's just occurred to
me that as you understand the knack of these things, perhaps _you'd_
like to come in and try _your_ hand on the dog? We can give you a
room quite to yourselves; and I'll undertake that nobody comes near to
interfere with you. And if--if," continued my uncle, with that kindly
thoughtfulness which ever distinguished his treatment of others, "_if_,
by any chance, you should miss hitting the dog at the proper critical
moment, or, if _you_ should get cowed and exhausted first, instead of
the dog--why, I shall only be too pleased to take the whole burden of
the funeral expenses on my own shoulders; and I hope you know me well
enough to feel sure that the arrangements will be tasteful, and, at the
same time, unostentatious!"

And out my uncle walked.

We next consulted the butcher, who agreed that the prize-ring method was
absurd, especially when recommended to a short-winded, elderly family
man, and who recommended, instead, plenty of out-door exercise for the
dog, under my uncle's strict supervision and control.

"Get a fairly long chain for him," said the butcher, "and take him out
for a good stiff run every evening. Never let him get away from you;
make him mind you, and bring him home always thoroughly exhausted. You
stick to that for a month or two, regular, and you'll have him like a
little child."

"Um!--seems to me that I'm going to get more training over his job than
anybody else," muttered my uncle, as he thanked the man and left the
shop; "but I suppose it's got to be done. Wish I'd never had the d---
dog now!"

So, religiously, every evening, my uncle would fasten a long chain to
that poor dog, and drag him away from his happy home with the idea of
exhausting him; and the dog would come back as fresh as paint, my uncle
behind him, panting and clamoring for brandy.

My uncle said he should never have dreamed there could have been suc