Kucheng, she would tell us of her
experiences, her dreams and visions, her fears and conflicts. Night
after night she would dream that somebody was setting meat and fish
before her, tempting her to eat, whilst she turned away determined not
to be tempted, not to defile herself, not to lose the merit she had
stored up for herself all these many years. Day and night her mind was
in confusion. She dreaded the night with its visions, and could not
welcome the day that would only bring her unrest. In her agony she
cried out, "No, I will never go back. I will be steadfast to the very
end, and keep my vow till death. Others may walk their different ways,
but no one shall make me change. I have never doubted, have never been
vacillating, and am not going to be so now."

Oh! how she longed for peace, but none came to end all her struggles,
for they only increased. But God had chosen her for Himself, and could
not give her heart rest until it rested in Him for whom it was made.
But she did not see that all her struggles were "cords of love" with
which the Father was trying to draw her to Himself. One day she said
to me, "If you only knew what I suffer. But it is impossible to put
into words what I have been passing through. It is as if two mighty
powers were fighting about me, and I am just torn between the two."
"Quite true," we answered; "two great Powers, God and the Devil, are
fighting for you; both want you, but God will conquer." It was pitiful
to behold her sufferings. We had never seen any conflict like it in
China, and our heart cried out to the Lord for the deliverance which we
knew must surely come.

The following day she spoke again about her two dreams. She dreamed
that with many others she went to worship a removed idol, the one she
had so often looked upon with awe in her childhood days. One after
another went to kneel down before the idol, worshipping it, and praying
for health and happiness. But when, after some time of patient
waiting, her turn came, something strange happened. She was just about
to kneel down, when the idol took off his hat, and showed her his head,
which was bald from a loathsome skin disease. He told her he was false
all through, and she was not to worship him. Why should he reveal to
her what he had hidden from the other worshippers? When she awoke she
kept pondering over the meaning of it all.

Another dream was that she was trying to settle a quarrel, and in doing
s