time, _how many_?' I had the
impertinence to ask a female friend who told me the tale. 'Why,' she
answered with the utmost simplicity, 'I understand that Miss A. and
Miss B. and Mrs. C. would not listen to him, but he took Miss D.'s
rejection most to heart.' That was the head and front of his
'constancy' to Miss E., who had been loved, she boasted, for seven
years ... that is, once at the beginning and once at the end. It was
just a coincidence of the 'premier pas' and the 'pis aller.'

Beloved, I could not mean this for you; you are not made of such
stuff, as we both know.

And for myself, it was my compromise with my own scruples, that you
should not be 'chained' to me, not in the merest metaphor, that you
should not seem to be bound, in honour or otherwise, so that if you
stayed with me it should be your free choice to stay, not the
_consequence_ of a choice so many months before. That was my
compromise with my scruples, and not my doubt of your affection--and
least of all, was it an intention of trifling with you sooner or later
that made me wish to suspend all _decisions_ as long as possible. I
have decided (for me) to let it be as you shall please--now I told you
that before. Either we will live on as we are, until an obstacle
arises,--for indeed I do not look for a 'security' where you suppose,
and the very appearance of it _there_, is what most rebuts me--or I
will be yours in the obvious way, to go out of England the next
half-hour if possible. As to the steps to be taken (or not taken)
before the last step, we must think of those. The worst is that the
only question is about a _form_. Virtually the evil is the same all
round, whatever we do. Dearest, it was plain to see yesterday evening
when he came into this room for a moment at seven o'clock, before
going to his own to dress for dinner ... plain to see, that he was not
altogether pleased at finding you here in the morning. There was no
pretext for objecting gravely--but it was plain that he was not
pleased. Do not let this make you uncomfortable, he will forget all
about it, and I was not _scolded_, do you understand. It was more
manner, but my sisters thought as I did of the significance:--and it
was enough to prove to me (if I had not known) what a desperate game
we should be playing if we depended on a yielding nerve _there_.

And to-day I went down-stairs (to prove how my promises stand) though
I could find at least ten good excuses for remaining in