f
Gramercy Park.

* * * * *

There is no time when we need spiritual support so much as when we
are having our hair cut, for indeed it is the only time when we are
ever thoroughly and entirely Bored. But having found a good-natured
barber who said he would not mind our reading a book while he was
shearing, we went through with it. The ideal book to read at such a
time (we offer you this advice, brave friends) is the "Tao" of
Lao-Tse, that ancient and admirable Chinese sage. (Dwight Goddard's
translation is very agreeable.) "The Tao," as of course you know, is
generally translated The Way, i.e., the Way of Life of the
Reasonable Man.

Lao-Tse, we assert, is the ideal author to read while the barber is
at his business. He answers every inquiry that will be made, and all
you have to do is hold the book up and point to your favourite
marked passages.

When the barber says, genially, "Well, have you done your Christmas
shopping yet?" we raise the book and point to this maxim:

_Taciturnity is natural to man._

When he says, "How about a nice little shampoo this morning?" we are
prompt to indicate:

_The wise man attends to the inner significance of things and
does not concern himself with outward appearances._

When, as we sit in the chair, we see (in the mirror before us) the
lovely reflection of the beautiful manicure lady, and she arches her
eyebrows at us to convey the intimation that we ought to have our
hands attended to, old Lao-Tse is ready with the answer. We reassure
ourself with his remark:

_Though he be surrounded with sights that are magnificent, the
wise man will remain calm and unconcerned._

When the shine boy offers to burnish our shoes, we call his
attention to:

_He who closes his mouth and shuts his sense gates will be free
from trouble to the end of life._

When the barber suggests that if we were now to have a liberal
douche of bay rum sprayed over our poll it would be a glittering
consummation of his task, we show him the words:

_If one tries to improve a thing, he mars it._

And when (finally) the irritated tonsor suggests that if we don't
wait so long next time before getting our hair cut we will not be
humiliated by our condition, we exhibit Lao-Tse's aphorism:

_The wise man is inaccessible to favour or hate; he cannot be
reached by profit or injury; he cannot be honoured or
humiliated._