d to run away. They added, as an additional
incentive, that the spectacle of a man who weighs nearly three
hundred pounds, doing the horizontal ladder, climbing a slack-rope
hand over hand, or suspending his weight by his little finger,
would be a 'big thing.' I asked them how I was to attain that end.
'By practice,' was the reply; 'practice makes perfect.' It
did;--it made a perfect fool of me, as you shall see.

I never had much taste for feats requiring physical effort, except
lifting--lifting with my teeth. The amount of beef, pork, mutton
and vegetables that I have lifted in that way is immense. After
hearing Dr. WINSHIP lecture, I practiced lifting a flour barrel
with a man inside of it, and finally succeeded in holding it out
at arm's length. [I may remark incidentally that the barrel _had
no heads in it_.]

To return to the case in hand (and a case in hand is worth two in
the bush): I was deluded into purchasing a season ticket in the
gymnasium, and one afternoon I sought the locality. A number were
exercising in various ways, and I laid off my coat preparatory to
'going in.' As I bent down to adjust a pair of slippers, I heard
some rapid steps behind me, and the next instant a pair, of hands
and a man's head fell squarely on my back, a pair of heels smote
together in the air, and with a somersault the gymnast regained
the ground several feet in advance of me. I assumed an indignant
perpendicular, when the fellow turned with well-feigned amazement
and stammered forth an apology. Bent over as I was, he had
mistaken me for a heavily padded 'wooden horse,' which formed a
portion of the apparatus.

Desiring to be weighed from time to time, in order that I might
note the effect of gymnastics upon my tonnage, I asked one, who
was resting after prodigious efforts to wrench his arms off at a
lifting machine, if there were scales convenient. He surveyed me
for a moment--looked puzzled--and finally replied
hesitatingly,--'Y-e-s, I think we can manage it.' He led the way
to a window overlooking the Ohio canal. 'Do you see that
building?' said he, pointing to a low structure on the heel path
side, extending partly over the canal. I intimated that the fabric
in question produced a distinct impression on the optic nerves,
and inquired its use. '_Weigh-lock_' he shrieked; '_go a