I, I act like a goose. I stand there ill at ease. She, in a
second, has the self-assurance of a person in her own home, or visiting
in a drawing-room. No awkwardness, pretty gestures, a few words, and
eyes which supply everything! She isn't very agreeable," he thought,
reminded of the curt tone she had used when disengaging herself, "and
yet she has her tender spots," he continued dreamily, remembering not
so much her words as certain inflections of her voice and a certain
bewildered look in her eyes. "I must go about it prudently that night,"
he concluded, addressing his cat, which, never having seen a woman
before, had fled at the arrival of Mme. Chantelouve and taken refuge
under the bed, but had now advanced almost grovelling, to sniff the
chair where she had sat.

"Come to think of it, she is an old hand, Mme. Hyacinthe! She would not
have a meeting in a cafe nor in the street. She scented from afar the
assignation house or the hotel. And though, from the mere fact of my not
inviting her here, she could not doubt that I did not want to introduce
her to my lodging, she came here deliberately. Then, this first denial,
come to think of it, is only a fine farce. If she were not seeking a
liaison she would not have visited me. No, she wanted me to beg her to
do what she wanted to do. Like all women, she wanted me to offer her
what she desired. I have been rolled. Her arrival has knocked the props
out from under my whole method. But what does it matter? She is no less
desirable," he concluded, happy to get rid of disagreeable reflections
and plunge back into the delirious vision which he retained of her.
"That night won't be exactly dreary," he thought, seeing again her eyes,
imagining them in surrender, deceptive and plaintive, as he would
disrobe her and make a body white and slender, warm and supple, emerge
from her tight skirt. "She has no children. That is an earnest promise
that her flesh is quite firm, even at thirty!"

A whole draft of youth intoxicated him. Durtal, astonished, took a look
at himself in the mirror. His tired eyes brightened, his face seemed
more youthful, less worn. "Lucky I had just shaved," he said to himself.
But gradually, as he mused, he saw in this mirror, which he was so
little in the habit of consulting, his features droop and his eyes lose
their sparkle. His stature, which had seemed to increase in this
spiritual upheaval, diminished again. Sadness returned to his
thoughtful mien. "I h