FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43  
44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   >>   >|  
was coming up the field, walking slowly, his hands thrust in his pockets, his eyes fixed steadily on a point in front of him that his mind didn't see, drawn back in some intense contemplation. He strolled into the ring so slowly that she had time to note the meditative gestures of his shoulders and chin. He stood beside her, very straight and tall, not speaking, still hiding his hands in his pockets, keeping up to the last minute his pose of indestructible tranquillity. He was so close that she could hear his breathing and feel his coat brushing her shoulder. He seated himself, slowly, without a break in the silence of his meditation. She knew that something wonderful and beautiful was going to happen. It had happened; it was happening now, growing more certain and more real with every minute that she waited for John to say something. If nothing changed, if this minute that she was living now prolonged itself, if it went on for ever and ever, that would be happiness enough. If she could keep still like this for ever--Any movement would be dangerous. She was afraid almost to breathe. Then she remembered. Of course, she would have to _tell_ him. She could feel the jerk and throb in John's breathing, measuring off the moments of his silence. Her thoughts came and went. "When he says he cares for me I shall have to tell him"--"This is going on for ever. If he cared for me he would have said it before now."--"It doesn't matter. He can care or not as he likes. Nothing can stop my caring." Then she was aware of her will, breaking through her peace, going out towards him, fastening on his mind to make him care; to make him say he cared, now, this minute. She was aware of her hands, clenched and unclenched, pressing the sharp edge of the seat into their palms as she dragged back her will. She was quiet now. John was looking at his own loose clasped hands and smiling. "Yes," he said, "yes. Yes." It was as if he had said, "This will go on. Nothing more than this can ever happen. But as long as we live it will go on." She had a sense almost of relief. "Charlotte--" "John--" "You asked me why I came here. You must have known why." "I didn't. I don't." "Can't you think?" "No, John. I've left off thinking. _My_ thinking's never any use." "If you _did_ think you'd know it was you." "_Me_?" "If it wasn't you just at first it was your face. There are faces that do things to you, that hurt you when
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43  
44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

minute

 
slowly
 

breathing

 
happen
 

silence

 

Nothing

 
pockets
 

thinking

 

matter

 

clenched


caring

 
unclenched
 

fastening

 

pressing

 

breaking

 

things

 

clasped

 
smiling
 

dragged

 

Charlotte


relief

 

speaking

 

hiding

 

keeping

 

straight

 
brushing
 
shoulder
 

seated

 
indestructible
 

tranquillity


shoulders
 

gestures

 

steadily

 

thrust

 
coming
 

walking

 

meditative

 

strolled

 
intense
 

contemplation


breathe

 
remembered
 

afraid

 

dangerous

 

movement

 
thoughts
 

measuring

 
moments
 

happened

 

happening