yet to be conscious of your own defects, as I am. I consider
such occurrences as mere incitements to strive to draw nearer the
unattainable goal set before us by Art and Nature, difficult as it may be.
These verses are truly beautiful, with the exception of one fault that we
often find in poets, which is, their being misled by Fancy to believe that
they really do see and hear _what they wish to see and hear_, and yet even
this is far below their ideal. You may well believe that I wish to become
acquainted with the poet or poetess; pray receive also yourself my thanks
for the kindly feeling you show towards your sincere friend,
L. V. BEETHOVEN.
[Footnote 1: Nothing has hitherto been ascertained respecting either the
date of this note, or the lady to whom it is addressed.]
63.
TO ZMESKALL.[1]
January 23, 1810.
What are you about? My gayety yesterday, though only assumed, has not only
vexed but offended you. The _uninvited guests_ seemed so little to deserve
your ill-humor, that I endeavored to use all my friendly influence to
prevent your giving way to it, by my pretended flow of spirits. I am still
suffering from indigestion. Say whether you can meet me at the "Swan"
to-day.
Your true friend,
BEETHOVEN.
[Footnote 1: The cause that gave rise to this note is not known.]
64.
TO WEGELER.
Vienna, May 2, 1810.
MY DEAR OLD FRIEND,--
These lines may very possibly cause you some surprise, and yet, though you
have no written proof of it, I always retain the most lively remembrance of
you. Among my MSS. is one that has long been destined for you, and which
you shall certainly receive this summer. For the last two years my secluded
and quiet life has been at an end, and I have been forcibly drawn into the
vortex of the world; though as yet I have attained no good result from
this,--nay, perhaps rather the reverse,--but who has not been affected by
the storms around us? Still I should not only be happy, but the happiest of
men, if a demon had not taken up his settled abode in my ears. Had I not
somewhere read that man must not voluntarily put an end to his life while
he can still perform even one good deed, I should long since have been no
more, and by my own hand too! Ah! how fair is life; but for me it is
forever poisoned!
You will not refuse me one friendly service, which is to procure me my
baptismal certificate. As Steffen Breuning has an account with you, he can
pay any expenses you may
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