' I, "what's the use of a' this
clishmaclaver? Ye've baith gotten the wrang sow by the lug, or my
name's no William M'Gee. I'll wager ye a pennypiece, that my monkey,
Nosey is at the bottom of the business."

Nae sooner had I spoken the word, than the twa, looking round the
shop, spied the beastie sitting upon the shelf girning at them, and
putting out his tongue, and wiggle-waggling his walking-stick ower his
left elbow, as if he had been playing upon the fiddle. Mr. Weft at
this apparition set up a loud lauch; his passion left him in a moment,
when he saw the ridiculous mistake that the Heelandman had fa'en into,
and I thocht he would hae bursted his sides wi' evendown merriment. At
first Donald lookit desperate angry, and judging frae the way he was
twisting about his mouth and rowing his een, I opined that he intended
some deadly skaith to the monkey. But his gude sense, of which
Heelandmen are no a'thegither destitute, got the better of his anger,
and he roared and lauched like the very mischief. Nor was this a', for
nae sooner had he began to lauch, than the monkey did the same thing,
and held its sides in precisely the same manner, imitating his
actions, in the maist amusin' way imaginable. This only set Donald a
lauching mair than ever, and when he lifted up his nieve, and shook it
at Nosey in a gude humoured way, what think ye that the cratur did?
Odds man, he took the note frae his pouch, whare it lay rowed up like
a baw, and, papping it at Donald, hit him as fairly upon the nose, as
if it had been shot out of a weel-aimed musket. There was nae
resisting this. The haill three, or rather the haill four, for Nosey
joined us, set up a loud lauch; and the Heelandman's was the loudest
of a', showing that he was really a man of sense, and could tak a joke
as weel as his neighbours.

When the lauchin' had a wee subsided, Mr. Campbell, in order to show
that he had nae ill wull to Mr. Weft, ax'd his pardon for the rough
way he had treated him, but the worthy manufacturer wadna hear o't.
"Houts, man," quo' he, "dinna say a word about it. It's a mistak
a'thegether, and Solomon himsell, ye ken, whiles gaed wrang."
Whereupon the Heelandman bought a Kilmarnock nichtcap, price
elevenpence happeny, frae Mr. Weft, and paid him wi' part of the very
note that brocht on the ferly I hae just been relating. But his gude
wull didna end here, for he insisted on takin' us a'--Nosey amang the
lave--to the nearest public, where he gi'