k ye, sir, I thank ye, sir: by God, I have a quart
of wine for ye, sir, in any place of the world. There shall not a
servingman in Barkshire fight better for ye than I will do, if you have
any quarrel in hand: you shall have the maidenhead of my new sword; I
paid a quarter's wages for't, by Jesus.

PHIL. O, this meat-failer Dick!
How well't has made the apparel of his wit,
And brought it into fashion of an honour!
Prythee, Dick Coomes, but tell me how thou dost?

COOMES. Faith, sir, like a poor man of service.

PHIL. Or servingman.

COOMES. Indeed, so called by the vulgar.

PHIL. Why, where the devil hadst thou that word?

COOMES. O, sir, you have the most eloquent ale in all the[235] world;
our blunt soil affords none such.

FRAN. Philip, leave talking with this drunken fool. Say, sirrah,
where's my father?

COOMES. "Marry, I thank ye for my very good cheer,--O Lord, it is not
so much worth.--You see I am bold with ye.--Indeed, you are not so bold
as welcome; I pray ye, come oft'ner.--Truly, I shall trouble ye." All
these ceremonies are despatch'd between them, and they are gone.

FRAN. Are they so?

COOMES. Ay, before God, are they.

FRAN. And wherefore came not you to call me then?

COOMES. Because I was loth to change my game.

FRAN. What game?

COOMES. You were at one sort of bowls as I was at another.

PHIL. Sirrah, he means the butt'ry bowls of beer.

COOMES. By God, sir, we tickled it.

FRAN. Why, what a swearing keeps this drunken ass?
Canst thou not say but swear at every word?

PHIL. Peace, do not mar his humour, prythee, Frank.

COOMES. Let him alone; he's a springall; he knows not what belongs
to an oath.

FRAN. Sirrah, be quiet, or I do protest--

COOMES. Come, come, what do you protest?

FRAN. By heaven, to crack your crown.

COOMES. To crack my crown! I lay ye a crown of that, lay it down, and
ye dare; nay, 'sblood, I'll venture a quarter's wages of that. Crack my
crown, quotha!

FRAN. Will ye not yet be quiet? will ye urge me?

COOMES. Urge ye, with a pox! who urges ye? You might have said so much
to a clown, or one that had not been o'er the sea to see fashions: I
have, I tell ye true; and I know what belongs to a man. Crack my crown,
and ye can.

FRAN. And I can, ye rascal!

PHIL. Hold, hair-brain, hold! dost thou not see he's drunk?

COOMES. Nay, let him come: though he be my master's son, I am my
master's man, and a man is a man in any ground of England. Come,