g personally tired of
her. He had not been so spoilt by his club life but that he had
taken exquisite pleasure in all her nice country ways, and soft,
kind-hearted, womanly humour. He was by no means tired of Lily.
Better than any of his London pleasures was this pleasure of making
love in the green fields to Lily Dale. It was the consequences of
it that affrighted him. Babies with their belongings would come;
and dull evenings, over a dull fire, or else the pining grief of
a disappointed woman. He would be driven to be careful as to his
clothes, because the ordering of a new coat would entail a serious
expenditure. He could go no more among countesses and their
daughters, because it would be out of the question that his wife
should visit at their houses. All the victories that he had ever won
must be given up. He was thinking of this even while the gig was
going round the corner near the parsonage house, and while Lily's
eyes were still blessed with some view of his departing back; but he
was thinking, also, that moment, that there might be other victory
in store for him; that it might be possible for him to learn to
like that fireside, even though babies should be there, and a woman
opposite to him intent on baby cares. He was struggling as best he
knew how; for the solemnity which Lily had imparted to him had not
yet vanished from his spirit.

"I hope that, upon the whole, you feel contented with your visit?"
said Bernard to him, at last.

"Contented? Of course I do."

"That is easily said; and civility to me, perhaps, demands as much.
But I know that you have, to some extent, been disappointed."

"Well; yes. I have been disappointed as regards money. It is of no
use denying it."

"I should not mention it now, only that I want to know that you
exonerate me."

"I have never blamed you;--neither you, nor anybody else; unless,
indeed, it has been myself."

"You mean that you regret what you've done?"

"No; I don't mean that. I am too devotedly attached to that dear girl
whom we have just left to feel any regret that I have engaged myself
to her. But I do think that had I managed better with your uncle
things might have been different."

"I doubt it. Indeed I know that it is not so; and can assure you
that you need not make yourself unhappy on that score. I had
thought, as you well know, that he would have done something for
Lily;--something, though not as much as he always intended to do for
Bell. But you