utes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadab
would take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinions
of autos and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of his
language shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin'
back and forth contented and joyful.

"It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had to
say was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like one
of them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July.
And he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. You
never see a man get so red faced and eloquent.

"It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's the
usual reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir!
the summer hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars in
Jonadab's hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, a
mighty sight easier to get into than out of. He could have bought three
automobiles if he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason he
didn't was named Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham."

"I know Tobias," interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.

"Course you do," continued Barzilla. "So does Sol, I guess. Well,
anyhow, Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boys
together at school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when they
grew up to be thirty and courted the same girl--ten years younger than
either of 'em, she was--twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her,
as a matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over to
Hyannis. But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't been
in the race, and consequently they loved each other with a love that
passed understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin'
line and drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year
or two, had bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They met
on the road one day last spring and trotted alongside one another for a
mile. At the end of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern
of Tobias's rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horse
for one with a two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias was
left with a beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HE
bought a new horse. And that was the beginnin'.

"It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag would
come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and t