, and, looking forward with terror to his future
existence, chose that middle line that seemed to afford him a refuge.

"Sometimes," said he, "in my voyages, when I was a man and commanded
other men, I have seen the heavens overcast, the sea rage and foam, the
storm arise, and, like a monstrous bird, beating the two horizons with
its wings. Then I felt that my vessel was a vain refuge, that trembled
and shook before the tempest. Soon the fury of the waves and the sight
of the sharp rocks announced the approach of death, and death then
terrified me, and I used all my skill and intelligence as a man and a
sailor to struggle against the wrath of God. But I did so because I was
happy, because I had not courted death, because to be cast upon a bed
of rocks and seaweed seemed terrible, because I was unwilling that I, a
creature made for the service of God, should serve for food to the gulls
and ravens. But now it is different; I have lost all that bound me to
life, death smiles and invites me to repose; I die after my own manner,
I die exhausted and broken-spirited, as I fall asleep when I have paced
three thousand times round my cell."

No sooner had this idea taken possession of him than he became more
composed, arranged his couch to the best of his power, ate little and
slept less, and found existence almost supportable, because he felt that
he could throw it off at pleasure, like a worn-out garment. Two methods
of self-destruction were at his disposal. He could hang himself with his
handkerchief to the window bars, or refuse food and die of starvation.
But the first was repugnant to him. Dantes had always entertained the
greatest horror of pirates, who are hung up to the yard-arm; he would
not die by what seemed an infamous death. He resolved to adopt the
second, and began that day to carry out his resolve. Nearly four years
had passed away; at the end of the second he had ceased to mark the
lapse of time.

Dantes said, "I wish to die," and had chosen the manner of his death,
and fearful of changing his mind, he had taken an oath to die. "When my
morning and evening meals are brought," thought he, "I will cast them
out of the window, and they will think that I have eaten them."

He kept his word; twice a day he cast out, through the barred aperture,
the provisions his jailer brought him--at first gayly, then with
deliberation, and at last with regret. Nothing but the recollection
of his oath gave him strength to procee