t milking that baste you'd have me be after?" she said;
"sure, and she won't let me come near her?"

"Nonsense, Biddy!" said I; "you frightened her, perhaps; the cow is
perfectly gentle;" and with the pail on my arm, I sallied forth. The
moment madam saw me entering the cow yard, she greeted me with a very
expressive flourish of her horns.

"This won't do," said I, and I stopped. The lady evidently was serious
in her intentions of resisting any personal approaches. I cut a cudgel,
and putting on a bold face, marched towards her, while Biddy followed
with her milking stool. Apparently, the beast saw the necessity of
temporizing, for she assumed a demure expression, and Biddy sat down to
milk. I stood sentry, and if the lady shook her head, I shook my stick;
and thus the milking operation proceeded with tolerable serenity and
success.

"There!" said I, with dignity, when the frothing pail was full to the
brim. "That will do, Biddy," and I dropped my stick. Dump! came madam's
heel on the side of the pail, and it flew like a rocket into the air,
while the milky flood showered plentifully over me, and a new broadcloth
riding-coat that I had assumed for the first time that morning. "Whew!"
said I, as soon as I could get my breath from this extraordinary shower
bath; "what's all this?" My wife came running towards the cow yard, as I
stood with the milk streaming from my hair, filling my eyes, and
dropping from the tip of my nose; and she and Biddy performed a
recitative lamentation over me in alternate strophes, like the chorus in
a Greek tragedy. Such was our first morning's experience; but as we had
announced our bargain with some considerable flourish of trumpets among
our neighbors and friends, we concluded to hush the matter up as much as
possible.

"These very superior cows are apt to be cross," said I; "we must bear
with it as we do with the eccentricities of genius; besides, when she
gets accustomed to us, it will be better."

Madam was therefore installed into her pretty pasture lot, and my wife
contemplated with pleasure the picturesque effect of her appearance,
reclining on the green slope of the pasture lot, or standing ankle deep
in the gurgling brook, or reclining under the deep shadows of the trees.
She was, in fact, a handsome cow, which may account, in part, for some
of her sins; and this consideration inspired me with some degree of
indulgence towards her foibles.

But when I found that Biddy could nev