u please, "I'm
t' windward o' most o' the bullies when I trims my beard. Ah, lad,
they's a raft o' bar-maids an' water-side widows would wed ol'
Nicholas Top. An' why? 'Tain't money, God knows! for Nicholas Top
haves none. Nar a dollar that a lone water-side widow could nose out!
An' if 'tisn't money," says he, "why, Lord love us! 'tis _looks_. It
can't be nothin' else. 'Tis looks or money with the widows; they cares
not which. Come, now, lad," says he, "would you 'low it _could_ be
otherwise than looks?"

I must wag my head.

"Lord love us, Dannie!" says he, so vain--so innocently vain of the
face he would not see--that my lips twitch with laughter to think of
it. "You an' them water-side widows is got a wonderful judgment for
looks!"

By this I was flattered.

"Now, look you!" says he, being now in his cups and darkly confidential
with me, "I'm havin', as I says, no dealin' with a glass. An' why?
Accordin' t' the water-side widows 'tis not ill-favor o' face. Then
why? I'm tellin' you: 'Tis just because," says he, tapping the table
with his forefinger, "Nick Top isn't able t' look hisself in the
eye.... Pass the bottle. Thank 'e, lad.... There you haves it!" says
he, with a pitiful little catch of the breath. "Nicholas Top haves a
wonderful bad eye!"

I must nod my assent and commiseration.

"In p'int o' beauty," says my uncle, "Nicholas Top is perfeckly
content with the judgment o' water-side widows, which can't be beat;
but for these five year, Lord help un! he've had no love for the eye
in his very own head."

'Twas said in such chagrin and depth of sadness that I was moved to
melancholy.

"His own eye, lad," he would repeat, "in his very own head!"

My uncle, I confess, had indeed a hint too much of the cunning and
furtive about both gait and glance to escape remark in strange places.
'Twas a pity--and a mystery. That he should hang his head who might
have held it high! At Twist Tickle, to be sure, he would hop hither
and yon in a fashion surprisingly light (and right cheerful); but
abroad 'twas either swagger or slink. Upon occasions 'twas manifest
to all the world that following evil he walked in shame and terror.
These times were periodic, as shall be told: wherein, because of his
simplicity, which was unspoiled--whatever the rascality he was in the
way of practising--he would betray the features of hang-dog villany,
conceiving all the while that he had cleverly masked himself with
virtue.

"Chil