though I certainly had a preference. From the first I had a
dislike to West, which soon grew into absolute aversion. Meanwhile I was
allowing myself to be more and more in his company, and my whole family,
with my big brother at their head, were importuning me to marry him. I
was a little reckless and did not know myself; and I think it was more
to get clear of his importunities and theirs, than for any other
purpose, that I at last permitted myself to be engaged to him. I hated
to be teased--I had no other settled hope in the world--and so I
promised to marry a man whom I despised. Are you listening?"

"Yes, dear Aunt, listening with my whole heart as well as my ears!" said
the young girl, creeping up to her as she made a momentary pause, and
taking one of her aunt's hands in both of her own. Strange to say, the
aunt did not permit her hand to be retained. She drew it away as if for
the moment she had no care for human sympathy,--and went on with her
agitated walk and her narration.

"I had a shuddering horror of the marriage, very soon after my
engagement was formed, though I knew nothing, except from my own
perception, against the character of West. That feeling grew as the
marriage day approached, and I found that instead of schooling myself to
meet with calmness what was now inevitable, every day increased an
aversion which was both mental and physical. I commenced to make my
wedding clothes. I began to think that I would rather be making my
shroud. And yet I worked on, stolidly, and bore the caresses of the man
who was so soon to be my husband. He grew warmer and warmer in his
manifestations as the marriage day approached. I suppose he thought he
was flattering and pleasing me! God help him, if he did! I was handsome,
I know it--and the sensualist began to gloat over the charms he would
so soon have in possession. I began to think how soon the slimy worms
would crawl over me! At length all this culminated. West was fool enough
to take me one night to the Old Park Theatre, where Ellen Tree was then
playing. She played _Julia_, in "The Hunchback," and I heard her make
that agonized appeal to _Master Walter_ and allude to the expected
horrors of an unloving marriage-bed. My eyes were opened. I saw it all,
now, as I had never done before. It was not alone my existence and my
mentality that I must sacrifice, but my _body_. That too was to be given
up! To what horrible profanation and outrage was I to be subjected! My