he doctors have given their verdict. My wife has
only two years to live.

_Barbara._ John, but she looks so well! What's the matter with her?

_Staffurth._ Well, it's a little difficult to explain. But without being
technical I may say that it is--er--not exactly appendicitis and
yet--er--not exactly mumps. Anyhow, it's always very fatal on the stage.

_Barbara._ Two years! John, I'm not quite clear whether I'm _your_
relation or Diana's, or, in fact, what I'm doing in the house at all,
but as an old friend of _somebody's_ may I give you a word of advice?

_Staffurth._ (_looking at his watch_). Certainly, but you must be quick.
I have to be back at the House in five seconds.

_Barbara._ Then, John, give Diana a good time for those two years. Ask
her to recite sometimes, tell her about Welsh Disestablishment, at all
costs keep her amused.

_Staffurth._ (_amazed_). My dear girl, do you realise I'm an Opposition
Member? The Government may spring a snap division on us at any moment.
(_Taking out his engagement book._) Still, let me see what I can do. On
July 15th, 1916---- Oh no, that will be too late. November 25th,
1915--how's that? We might have an afternoon at Kew then if the Whips
don't want me. (_Looking at his watch._) Well, I must be off. Don't let
Diana know she's ill.

[_Exit hastily._

_Enter_ Diana Staffurth.

_Diana._ I listened outside the door! Two years, and he won't even ask
me to recite to him! He doesn't love me.

_Barbara._ He does, he does! But he's one of those men who never show it
till the Last Act.

_Diana._ Well, I know somebody who doesn't mind showing it in the First
Act. (_Goes to telephone._) Is that you, Captain Furness? I've just
learnt a new little piece.... Yes, don't be long. [_She sits down to
play the piano till he comes._

CURTAIN.

II.

_Six months later._

Captain Furness's _rooms, 11.30 p.m._

_Enter_ Furness _and_ Diana.

_Furness._ There, dear, now we can have a nice little supper together.
You do love me, don't you?

_Diana._ I suppose so. I love talking to you on the telephone, anyway. I
can't think what we should have done in this play without the telephone.

_Furness._ And you will come away with me to-morrow?

_Diana._ Yes. (_To the audience_) Oh, I've only got eighteen months----
(_To_ Furness) Excuse me, Philip, this is a soliloquy; would you mind
not listening for a moment? (_He turns away and prepares the supper._)
Oh, I've only got eighteen mo