d add his quota to the evening's
entertainment, but he would wait till the culminating point of Ted's
story was reached, and the company was, so to speak, ripe for it.

"Me an' Miss Hep. is meeterly thick now, I tell ye," summed up Ted at
the conclusion of his tale. "Hoo thinks a dale o' me, if hoo doesn't
think mich o' menfolk in general."

"Hoo gived Ted the gander's leavin's," put in Joe, seizing his
opportunity, and bringing out his joke with a great shout and a
vigorous nudge to his nearest neighbour. "Th' owd lad needn't be that
set up--hoo give him nought but the gander's leavin's, when all's said
an' done."

"Hoo didn't give _thee_ a drop as how 'tis," retorted Ted. "Poor Joe
were stood i' th' doorway, ye know, an' he sighed an' licked his lips,
th' poor chap, but he didn't get nought. Miss Hep. didn't fancy nobody
but me."

"Thou'll be for coortin' her next," suggested somebody humorously.

"Nay, nay," said an odd little short man with comically uplifted
eyebrows. "'T wouldn't be no use coortin' Margaret Heptonstall. Eh, I
remember when our missus reckoned hoo were deein' an' took a notion to
mak' up a match between Margaret an' me--"

The rest of his narrative was drowned in a roar of laughter. Every one
knew that story.

"Hoo wouldn't ha' noan o' thee, would hoo Tom?" cried one.

"Thy missus couldn't bear the notion of havin' all they dumb things
about as Margaret sets sich store by?" queried another.

"Nay, 'twas me as couldn't bear the notion of her," rejoined Tom
stoutly. "I'd be hard put-to to do wi' onybody at arter our Betty.
Hoo's wick an' 'earty, an' I dunnot want nobry; but if I did have to
pick a second missus, it shouldn't be Margaret Hep."

"Hoo's reg'lar set in her ways, isn't hoo?" put in old Jack. "Ah,
hoo's reg'lar cut out for a single life, Marg'ret is. I reckon
nobody'll want to coort her at this time o' day, an' if onybody did,
hoo'd send him packin'."

"I haven't tried my hand yet, ye see," remarked Ted, looking round for
applause. "If I was to get agate o' coortin' Margaret Hep., hoo'd be
fain enough."

There was general laughter at this statement, which nearly every one
present hastened to deny. All agreed that were Ted to urge his
pretensions he would be very soon sent to the right-about.

"Well, then," cried Ted when the uproar had somewhat subsided, "I'll
bet you a nine-gallon cask of owd Jack's best to a five-shillin' bit
that Margaret Hep. an' me 'ull be shouted bef