1 risk. Turn to the conditions,
and you will observe that our A No. 1 risks are insured against
accident by lightning only. If, now, you had been struck by lightning
instead of by ivy, and if the subtle electric fluid had impaired your
physical economy, or imparted to your veins any noxious rheum or any
venom wherefrom either temporary or permanent harm or disquietude
accrued to you, then you would have a legal and just claim against
our--I mean _the_ company."

"But I supposed I was insured against every kind of accident," said I.
"When it comes to getting pay for an accident, a dislocation of a toe
is quite as desirable, in my opinion, as a broken neck."

"Ah, but insurance companies must differentiate," said Mr. Smith.
"There are so many kinds of accidents that it is absolutely necessary
to have grades and classes and differences and distinctions. You are
insured against lightning: you belong to A No. 1. If you were insured
against a broken leg you would be in X No. 2, or against a sprained
wrist in H No. 3. My recollection is that our policies of insurance
against poison ivy are written in Q No. 4, but I am not positive. If,
however, you care to profit by this annoying experience and desire to
insure against ivy poison, I will look the matter up the first thing
to-morrow and write you out a policy at once. In your case the policy
should be made out for a period of fourteen years, since your present
dose of poison will not lose its efficacy for seven years, and that
will render insurance taken _after the fact_ inoperative."

There was a heavy thunder shower the next day, and I stood out in it
all the time in the hope of getting a chance to claim remuneration from
the Wabash Mutual Internecine Association. But the lightning dodged me
as if I had been a sacred and charmed object. I made up my mind that
it was folly to try to get even with the insurance concern, and since a
farming career was now closed against me, I determined to devote my
spare time to watching the progress of affairs inside our new house and
to cooeperate with Alice and Adah and our feminine neighbors in their
herculean task of "having things as they should be."

XXI

WITH PLUMBERS AND PAINTERS

It did not take me long to find out that, in the treatment of the
interior of the new house, Alice had fallen a victim to the influence
of the Denslow-Baylor-Maria schools. I was not much surprised by this
discovery, for I had known for