rtable. And these reasons were but a poor substitute for the
comforts that were not forthcoming, and only made matters worse. And if
there was neglect on her part, there was plenty of fault-finding on
mine. I was sharp and unreasonable; and then we both of us lost our
temper, and I was glad to seek other company, and began to care less and
less for my home, and more for the public-house and for the drink which
gives the inspiration to the conversation you meet with in such places.

"Sometimes things would go on a little better, but not for long. And
when we got to angry words with one another, we had no higher authority
than ourselves to appeal to when we would set one another right.
Thomas, I see this more plainly every day now. Freethinkers--would-be
atheists, like my former self--are at an immense disadvantage compared
with Christians in this respect. A Christian has a recognised,
infallible authority to which he can appeal--the will of his God, as set
forth in the Word of his God. When he differs from a fellow-Christian,
both can go to that authority, and abide by its decision. Christians
will do this if they are honest men, and really love one another. We
freethinkers have no such court of appeal. However, let that pass.

"Things went on as I've been telling you, and were getting worse. Our
two hearts were getting further apart every day, and colder and colder
towards each other. This went on, and the breach kept widening, till a
few weeks ago. You'll not have forgotten, I know, poor Joe Wright's sad
end. Well, it was a few days after the accident that I came home much
the worse for liquor, I'm ashamed to say, and in a particularly bad
temper. Things had not been pleasant at the club. One of the members
had been breaking the rules; and when I pointed this out, I was met with
opposition, and the determined display of an intention on the part of
several others to side with the offender. Words ran high, and I spoke
my mind pretty freely, and received in return such a shower of abuse as
fairly staggered me. So I betook myself to the public-house, and drank
glass after glass to drown my uncomfortable reflections, and then went
home.

"The drink, instead of driving away my mortification, only made me more
irritable; and when I got into my own house, I was ready to find fault
with everything, and to vent the bitterness of my spirit on my poor
little wife. But, to my surprise, she did not answer me back