f Ucalegon everything except what they don't care
for. They are free, therefore, to sup, sleep, rise, dine, and lie down.

Husbandry, as among the old Egyptians, consists chiefly in feeding pigs,
for the husbandmen wait on the rich. One, with a gentle touch, opens the
richer man's eyes when he wakes; another fans him with a flapper while
he eats; another puts bits into his mouth when it opens. There are two
cities under Ucalegon, Livona and Roncara (Snort and Snore), which have
like privileges, except that here the inhabitants are almost always
asleep, and fatten wonderfully.

These are among the laws of Crapulia:--It is a crime to drink alone.
Whoever has defrauded Nature by fasting four hours after sleep shall be
compelled to sup. When the mouth is full it is enough to answer
questions by holding out a finger. What cook soever shall treat food so
that it cannot be eaten, shall be tied to a stake beside which is hung
meat half raw or half burnt, and shall remain so tied until somebody
comes who will eat that meat.

No coin of metal is current in Crapulia, but they make payment in kind.
Thus two sparrows are one starling, two starlings are one fieldfare, two
fieldfares one hen, two hens one goose, two geese one lamb, two lambs
one kid, two kids one goat, two goats one cow, and so forth.

The next chapter is on the Religion of the Crapulians. They hate Jove
because his thunder turns the wine sour and he spoils ripe fruit by
raining on it. Their God is Time, who eats everything.

But I hasten, says the traveller, to the palace of the Grand Duke,
whither I was happily led by my genius. The first Duke must have been as
large as the man two of whose teeth were dug up at Cambridge, each as
big as a man's head. On his tomb is an inscription. "I Omasius, Duke of
Fagonia, Lord, Victor, Prince and God lie here. No man shall say I
starved, shall pass by fasting, or salute me sober. Let him be my heir
who can, my subject who will, my enemy who dares. Farewell and Fatten."

After a description of the Island of Hunger, the traveller passes from
Pamphagonia to Yvronia, the other province of Crapulia.

These are among the laws of Yvronia:--A cup must be either full or
empty. Whoever takes or returns a cup half empty shall be guilty of
_lese societe_. The sober man who hurts a drunkard, shall be cut off
from wine for ever: if he kill a drunkard, he shall die by thirst. To
walk from supper in a right line shall be criminal. He who