anteau and
carpet-bag, being in the very diminutive turnover seat behind. The carriage
was followed by the straining eyes of sundry Johns and Janes, who
unanimously agreed that Mr. Sponge was the meanest, shabbiest gent they had
ever had in _their_ house. Mr. Leather was, therefore, roasted in the
servants' hall, where the sins of the masters are oft visited upon the
servants.

But to our travellers.

Little conversation passed between our friends for the first few miles,
for, in addition to the road being rough, the driving-seat was so high, and
the other so low, that Mr. Jogglebury Crowdey's parables broke against Mr.
Sponge's hat-crown, instead of dropping into his ear; besides which, the
unwilling host's mind was a good deal occupied with wishing that there had
been three haddocks instead of two, and speculating whether Mrs. Crowdey
would be more pleased at the success of his mission, or put out of her way
by Mr. Sponge's unexpected coming. Above all, he had marked some very
promising-looking sticks--two blackthorns and a holly--to cut on his way
home, and he was intent on not missing them. So sudden was the jerk that
announced his coming on the first one, as nearly to throw the old family
horse on his knees, and almost to break Mr. Sponge's nose against the brass
edge of the cocked-up splash-board. Ere Mr. Sponge recovered his
equilibrium, the whip was in the case, the reins dangling about the old
screw's heels, and Mr. Crowdey scrambling up a steep bank to where a very
thick boundary-hedge shut out the view of the adjacent country. Presently,
chop, chop, chop, was heard, from Mr. Crowdey's pocket axe, with a
tug--wheeze--puff from himself; next a crash of separation; and then the
purple-faced Mr. Crowdey came bearing down the bank dragging a great
blackthorn bush after him.

'What have you got there?' inquired Mr. Sponge, with surprise.

'Got! (wheeze--puff--wheeze),' replied Mr. Crowdey, pulling up short, and
mopping his perspiring brow with a great claret-coloured bandana. 'Got!
I've (puff--wheeze) got what I (wheeze) think will (puff) into a most
elaborate and (wheeze) valuable walking-stick. This I (puff) think,'
continued he, eyeing the great ball with which he had got it up, 'will
(wheeze) come in most valuably (puff) for my great (puff--wheeze--gasp)
national undertaking--the (puff) Kings and (wheeze) Queens of Great Britain
(gasp).'

'What are _they_?' asked Mr. Sponge, astonished at his vehemence.