Sue and Tony Luttrell coming around the corner of the
street past the front gate of Byrd Mansion and down toward the
cottage. Nobody knows how hard it is for me to see every nice body my
own age pass right by my gate in a procession to see Roxanne when I
can't go, too.

Tony didn't see me standing by the garden fence, and he gave the funny
little whistle that he calls the Raccoon whistle for the Palefaces and
which he always whistles when he wants to signal something to one of
the girls. Then suddenly they all saw me, and that politely enduring
look came over all three faces at once, though Mamie Sue's face is so
jolly and round by nature that it is very hard to prim it down
suddenly, and I don't believe she would always trouble to put it on
for me, only Belle seems to demand it of her as an echo of her
sentiments toward me. Some people can't seem to be sure of themselves
unless they can get somebody else to echo them and I think that is why
Belle has to keep poor Mamie Sue at her elbow all the time.

But when I saw the politeness plaster spread itself over all their
faces at the sight of me enjoying myself like any other girl, I just
turned away wearily and started back along my own garden path, back to
my own house which I felt that I ought not to be living in. But
something sweet happened to me before I left that makes me feel nice
and warm even now to think about.

"Please don't go away, Phyllis," said Roxanne, looking right into my
face with such a lovely look in her own eyes that it was almost
impossible, for an instant, for me to believe it was charity.

For a moment I wanted to stay, and almost did; but if she could be
generous, so could I, and I didn't intend to spoil their fun for even
a minute, so I just smiled at her and bowed to them as I walked away.

Nobody knows how it does hurt me to be this kind of an outcast! I have
lived fifteen years with a sick mother, and a governess and trained
nurses, and never a chance of having friends; and now that one is just
at my back door I can't have her because useless wealth is between us.
Is there no way the rich can turn poor without disgrace? But I've got
that smile from Roxanne and I'm going to believe it was meant for the
real me. Good-night!

* * * * *

I'm so full of happiness and scare and a secret that if I didn't have
this little book to spill some of it out to I don't know what I would
do. A secret sometimes makes a girl feel