utenant;' and I
was very sorry for what I had said to the priest, for my conscience
thumped me very hard at having even pretended that I'd turn Protestant,
which I never intended to do, nor never will, but live and die a good
Catholic, as all my posterity have done before me, and, as I trust, all
my ancestors will for generations to come. Well, I arrived on board, and
the first lieutenant was very savage. I hoped he would get over it, but
he never did; and he continued to treat me so ill that I determined to
quit the ship, which I did as soon as we arrived in Cawsand Bay. The
captain allowed me to go, for I told him the whole truth of the matter,
and he saw that it was true; so he recommended me to the captain of a
jackass frigate, who was in want of midshipmen."

"What do you mean by a jackass frigate?" inquired I.

"I mean one of your twenty-eight gun-ships, so called, because there is
as much difference between them and a real frigate, like the one we are
sailing in, as there is between a donkey and a racehorse. Well, the ship
was no sooner brought down to the dock-yard to have her ballast taken
in, than our captain came down to her--a little, thin, spare man, but a
man of weight nevertheless, for he brought a great pair of scales with
him, and weighed everything that was put on board. I forget his real
name, but the sailors christened him Captain Avoirdupois. He had a large
book, and in it he inserted the weight of the ballast, and of the shot,
water, provisions, coals, standing and running rigging, cables, and
everything else. Then he weighed all the men, and all the midshipmen,
and all the midshipmen's chests, and all the officers, with everything
belonging to them: lastly, he weighed himself, which did not add much to
the sum total. I don't exactly know what this was for; but he was always
talking about centres of gravity, displacement of fluid, and Lord knows
what. I believe it was to find out the longitude, somehow or other, but
I didn't remain long enough in her to know the end of it, for one day I
brought on board a pair of new boots, which I forgot to report that they
might be put into the scales, which swang on the gangway; and whether
the captain thought that they would sink his ship, or for what I can not
tell, but he ordered me to quit her immediately--so, there I was adrift
again. I packed up my traps and went on shore, putting on my new boots
out of spite, and trod into all the mud and mire I could mee