, to carry a wrist-watch.

***

Newhaven, it is stated, is suffering from a plague of butterflies. All
attempts to persuade them to move on to the Metropole at Brighton have
so far been successfully resisted.

***

Table-napkins have been forbidden in Berlin and special ear-protectors
for use at meal-times are said to be enjoying a brisk sale.

***

When the fourteen-year-old son of German parents was charged in a
London Court with striking his mother with a boot, the mother admitted
that she had cut the boy's face because he had called her by an
opprobrious German name. On the advice of the magistrate the family
have decided to discontinue their subscription to the half-penny
press.

***

"I should like to give you a good licking, but the law won't allow
me," said Mr. Bankes, K.C., the new magistrate for West London,
in fining a lad for cruelty to a horse. The discovery that even
magistrates have to forgo their simple pleasures in these times made
a profound impression upon the boy.

***

Herr Erzberger has expressed a desire for "half an hour with Mr.
Lloyd George" to settle the War. In view of the heavy demands upon
the Premier's time it is suggested in Parliamentary circles that Major
Archer-Shee should consent to act as his substitute.

***

The idea of giving raid warnings by the discharge of a couple of
Generals has been unfavourably received by the Defence authorities.

***

A German shell which passed through a Church Army Hut was found to
have been stamped with the initials "C.A." in its passage through the
building. The clerk, whose duty it is to attend to matters of this
kind, has been reprimanded for not adding the date.

***

A small boy at Egham, arrested for breaking a bottle on the highway,
said that he did it to puncture motor tyres. If the daily bag included
only one Army motor-car, with nothing better than a Staff-Colonel as
passenger, the entertainment was considered to be well worth the risk.

***

"If I saw the last pheasant I would kill it and eat it," says Lord
Kimberley. Food hog!

***

We hear that, as a result of Herr Michaelis' disclaimer, the Germans
are about to appoint a Commission to find out who (if anybody) is
carrying on the War.

***

Women have reinforced the bell-ringers at Speldhurst, Kent. As no
other explanation is forthcoming, we can only suppose they are doing
it out