e in the year of grace 1550. The Bible
was originally written in the Hebrew language, and the Hebrew language
at that time had no vowels in writing. It was written with consonants,
and without being divided into chapters or into verses, and there was
no system of punctuation whatever. After you go home tonight write an
English sentence or two with only consonants close together, and you
will find that it will take twice as much inspiration to read it as it
did to write it. When the Bible was divided into verses and chapters,
the divisions were not always correct, and so the division between the
first and second chapter of Genesis is not in the right place. The
second account of the creation commences at the third verse and it
differs from the first in two essential points. In the first account
man is the last made; in the second man is made before the beasts. In
the first account, man is made "male and female"; in the second only a
male is made, and there is no intention of making a woman whatever.

You will find by reading that second chapter that God tried to palm off
on Adam a beast as his helpmeet. Everybody talks about the Bible and
nobody reads it; that is the reason it is so generally believed. I am
probably the only man in the United States who has read the Bible
through this year. I have wasted that time, but I had a purpose in
view. Just read it, and you will find, about the twenty-third verse,
that God caused all the animals to walk before Adam in order that he
might name them. And the animals came like a menagerie into town, and
as Adam looked at all the crawlers, jumpers and creepers, this God
stood by to see what he would call them. After this procession passed,
it was pathetically remarked, "Yet was there not found any helpmeet for
Adam." Adam didn't see anything that he could fancy. And I am glad he
didn't. If he had, there would not have been a free-thinker in this
world; we should have all died orthodox. And finding Adam was so
particular, God had to make him a helpmeet, and having used up the
nothing, he was compelled to take part of the man to make the woman
with, and he took from the man a rib. How did he get it? And then
imagine a God with a bone in his hand, and about to start a woman,
trying to make up his mind whether to make a blonde or a brunette.

Right here it is only proper that I should warn you of the consequences
of laughing at any story in the Bible. When you come to die,