NOT
discovered?--

Fassmann was by no means such a fool as Gundling; but, he was much of a
fool too. He had come to Berlin, about this time, [1726, as he himself
says (supra p. 8).] in hopes of patronage from the King or somebody;
might say to himself, "Surely I am a better man than Gundling, if
the Berlin Court has eyesight." By the King, on some wise General's
recommending it, he was, as a preliminary, introduced to the Tabagie
at least. Here is the celebrated Gundling; there is the celebrated
Fassmann. Positive Leyden-jar, with negative close by: in each of these
two men lodges a full-charged fiery electric virtue of self-conceit;
destructive each of the other;--could a conductor be discovered.
Conductors are discoverable, conductors are not wanting; and many
are the explosions between these mutually-destructive human
varieties;--welcomed with hilarious, rather vacant, huge horse-laughter,
in this Tobacco-Parliament and Synod of the Houyhnhnms.

Of which take this acme; and then end. Fassmann, a fellow not without
sarcasm and sharpness, as you may still see, has one evening provoked
Gundling to the transcendent pitch,--till words are weak, and only
action will answer. Gundling, driven to the exploding point, suddenly
seizes his Dutch smoking-pan, of peat-charcoal ashes and red-hot sand;
and dashes it in the face of Fassmann; who is of course dreadfully
astonished thereby, and has got his very eyebrows burnt, not to speak of
other injuries. Stand to him, Fassmann! Fassmann stands to him tightly,
being the better man as well as the more satirical; grasps Gundling
by the collar, wrenches him about, lays him at last over his knee,
sitting-part uppermost; slaps said sitting-part (poor sitting-part that
had broken the ice of Wusterhausen) with the hot pan,--nay some say,
strips it and slaps. Amid the inextinguishable horse-laughter (sincere
but vacant) of the Houyhnhnm Olympus.

After which, his Majesty, as epilogue to such play, suggests, That feats
of that nature are unseemly among gentlemen; that when gentlemen have
a quarrel, there is another way of settling it. Fassmann thereupon
challenges Gundling; Gundling accepts; time and place are settled,
pistols the weapon. At the appointed time and place Gundling stands,
accordingly, pistol in hand; but at sight of Fassmann, throws his pistol
away; will not shoot any man, nor have any man shoot him. Fassmann
sternly advances; shoots his pistol (powder merely) into Gundling