the origin
of the Etrurians, and the Scandinavians. But, if we give him so much, we
must give him more, and deduce from the same origin the Es of the Celt,
and the Ized of the Persian, and--what will be of more use to him, I dare
say, poor man, than all the rest put together--the AEs of the Romans, that
is, the God of Copper-Money--a very powerful household god he is to this
day!"

My mother looked musingly at her frock, as if she were taking my father's
proposition into serious consideration.

"So, perhaps," resumed my father, "and not unconformably with sacred
records, from one great parent horde came all these various tribes,
carrying with them the name of their beloved Asia; and whether they
wandered north, south, or west, exalting their own emphatic designation of
'Children of the Land of Light' into the title of gods. And to think
(added Mr. Caxton pathetically, gazing upon that speck in the globe on
which his forefinger rested), to think how little they changed for the
better when they got to the Don, or entangled their rafts amidst the
icebergs of the Baltic--so comfortably off as they were here, if they could
but have staid quiet!"

"And why the deuce could not they?" asked Mr. Squills.

"Pressure of population, and not enough to live upon, I suppose," said my
father.

PISISTRATUS, sulkily.--"More probably they did away with the Corn Laws,
sir."

"Papae!" quoth my father, "that throws a new light on the subject."

PISISTRATUS, full of his grievances, and not caring three straws about the
origin of the Scandinavians--"I know that if we are to lose L500 every year
on a farm which we hold rent-free, and which the best judges allow to be a
perfect model for the whole country, we had better make haste, and turn
AEsar, or Aser, or whatever you call them, and fix a settlement on the
property of other nations, otherwise, I suspect, our probable settlement
will be on the parish."

MR. SQUILLS, who, it must be remembered, is an enthusiastic
free-trader--"You have only got to put more capital on the land."

PISISTRATUS.--"Well, Mr. Squills, as you think so well of that investment,
put _your_ capital on it. I promise that you shall have every shilling of
profit."

MR. SQUILLS, hastily retreating behind _The Times_--"I don't think the
Great Western can fall any lower: though it _is_ hazardous--I can but
venture a few hundreds--"

PISISTRATUS.--"On our land, Squills? Thank you."

MR. SQUILLS.--"No, no--any th