moreover knew that this law
did not bind God, and he wished for no personal comprehension, no will,
no love, no conscience, when God had spoken, only obedience, and
therein consisted his righteousness. Whosoever therefore will oppose
his own inward light to the Light of the Order is a fool, who wishes to
look at the sun by lamplight, and he who suffers from qualms of
conscience at the orders of his Superior, should remember, that it is
one of the great privileges of our Society, that the members, who are
scrupulous by nature, may according to papal assertion calm themselves
on all points by the decision of their superiors. That is however the
highest step of obedience, which we all have to endeavor to reach, that
such scruples may never arise within us, but that a complete uniformity
of understanding between our Superior and ourselves may take place, so
that we are of one mind, of one and the same will with him, that we
hold all that he orders to be reasonable, and take his judgement only
as the rule for our own. If in obeying thou dost not subject thy reason
as well as thy will, so is thy obedience then no complete burnt
offering, in that thou hast not offered thy noblest part to God, thy
reason, and a sacrifice, in the which thou keepest back the best for
thyself is not acceptable to God."

That was the blessing with which within the same hour Paul left the
College, without taking any long farewell, to begin his journey in
company with a stately and older member of the order, who called
himself Doctor Antonio, over the Alps to the seat of the Bishops of
Speyer. All this appeared to him as a dream, and the suddenness of his
freedom came over him almost as a terror. With closed eyes the young
man passed through the fairest cities of Italy and the smiling plains
of Verona. In vain did the peach-trees stretch out to him their ruddy
blossoms, and the citrons on the trellis-work were past by unnoticed.
His eye was entirely turned within himself and on the duties which
awaited him. A feeling of incapacity and fear of the future entered for
the first time the breast of the learned youth. To cheer him up, his
older companion a lively man with sharp, mobile features enumerated all
the privileges to which Paul had a right even as a young novice, member
of the Society of Jesus. He could absolve in all cases, even in those
where the Bishop had refused to grant absolution, he could declare
shore-robbers, convict-slaves, and hereti