ing at the farmtown of Cauldshaws, presently occupied by Gilbert
M'Kissock--public worship to begin at seven o'clock.'

The congregation of Barnessock kirk tumbled amicably over its own heels
with eagerness to get into the kirkyaird in order to settle the
momentous question, 'Wha's back was he on the day?'

Robert Kirk, Carsethorn, had a packet of peppermint lozenges in the
crown of his 'lum' hat--deponed to by Elizabeth Douglas or Barr, in
Barnbogrie, whose husband, Weelum Barr, put on the hat of the aforesaid
Robert Kirk by mistake for his own, whereupon the peppermints fell to
the floor and rolled under the pews in most unseemly fashion.
Elizabeth Kirk is of opinion that this should be brought to the notice
of Session, she herself always taking her peppermint while genteelly
wiping her mouth with the corner of her handkerchief. Robert Kirk, on
being put to the question, admits the fact, but says that it was his
wife put them there to be near her hand.

The minister, however, ready with his word, brought him to shame by
saying, 'O Robert, Robert, that was just what Adam said, "The woman
Thou gavest me, she gave me to eat!"' The aforesaid Robert Kirk thinks
that it is meddling with the original Hebrew to apply this to
peppermints, and also says that Elizabeth Kirk is an impident besom,
and furthermore that, as all the country well knows---- (Here the
chronicler omits much matter actionable in the civil courts of the
realm).

'Janet,' said the minister to his housekeeper, 'I am to preach to-night
at Cauldshaws on the text, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it
with thy might."'

'I ken,' said Janet, 'I saw it on yer desk. I pat it ablow the clock
for fear the wun's o' heeven micht blaw it awa' like chaff, an' you
couldna do wantin' it!'

'Janet MacTaggart,' said the minister, tartly, 'bring in the denner,
and do not meddle with what does not concern you.'

Janet could not abide read sermons; her natural woman rose against
them. She knew, as she had said, that God was a jealous God, and, with
regard to the minister, she looked upon herself as His viceregent.

'He's young an' terrable ram-stam an' opeenionated--fu' o' buik-lear,
but wi' little gracious experience. For a' that, the root o' the
maitter's in 'im,' said Janet, not unhopefully.

'I'm gaun to preach at Cauldshaws, and my text's "Whatsoever thy hand
findeth to do, do it with thy might,"' said the minister to the
precentor that afternoon, on