Voice
from the Outer Darkness, and it was the Voice of Myrtle. She said:
"I'll tell you what to Play; play the Intermezzo."

Fred and Eustace exchanged Glances. They began to Perceive that they
had been backed into a Siding. With a few Potted Palms in front of
them, and two Cards from the Union, they would have been just the same
as a Hired Orchestra.

But they played the Intermezzo and felt Peevish. Then they went to the
Window and looked out. Gus and Myrtle were sitting in the Hammock,
which had quite a Pitch toward the Center. Gus had braced himself by
Holding to the back of the Hammock. He did not have his Arm around
Myrtle, but he had it Extended in a Line parallel with her Back. What
he had done wouldn't Justify a Girl in saying, "Sir!" but it started a
Real Scandal with Fred and Eustace. They saw that the Only Way to Get
Even with her was to go Home without saying "Good Night." So they
slipped out the Side Door, shivering with Indignation.

After that, for several Weeks, Gus kept Myrtle so Busy that she had no
Time to think of considering other Candidates. He sent Books to her
Mother, and allowed the Old Gentleman to take Chips away from him at
Poker.

They were Married in the Autumn, and Father-in-Law took Gus into the
Firm, saying that he had needed a good Pusher for a Long Time.

At the Wedding the two Mandolin Players were permitted to act as Ushers.

MORAL: _To get a fair Trial of Speed use a Pace-Maker_.

THE FABLE OF THE PREACHER WHO FLEW HIS KITE, BUT NOT BECAUSE HE WISHED
TO DO SO

By GEORGE ADE

Copyright 1899 by Herbert S. Stone & Co.

A certain Preacher became wise to the Fact that he was not making a Hit
with his Congregation. The Parishioners did not seem inclined to seek
him out after Services and tell him he was a Pansy. He suspected that
they were Rapping him on the Quiet. The Preacher knew there must be
something wrong with his Talk. He had been trying to Expound in a
clear and straightforward Manner, omitting Foreign Quotations, setting
up for illustration of his Points such Historical Characters as were
familiar to his Hearers, putting the stubby Old English words ahead of
the Latin, and rather flying low along the Intellectual Plane of the
Aggregation that chipped in to pay his Salary. But the Pew-Holders
were not tickled. They could Understand everything he said, and they
began to think he was Common.

So he studied the Situation and decided that if he