ve been very nice to me all along. Can I
leave you anything?

SYLVIA. Don't joke about it, uncle, it's all so horrid.

DANIEL. If I don't joke I shall burst into storms of passionate sobbing.
(_Moves down_ C.)

SYLVIA. That would be rather awful. Here comes mother....

(_Enter_ MRS. DERMOTT _downstairs._)

MRS. DERMOTT. Danny darling, why were you so silly as to take any notice
of the children? They're unkind and heartless, and I ordered the
mushrooms specially for you this morning. Sit down and have them now.
They'll be quite hot still. (_She pushes him into chair._) Sylvia, get
them, if you please. I can't think why they're all behaving like this, I
shall never forgive them, Danny dear. You won't let them upset you, will
you?

(_She kisses him._ MRS. DERMOTT _sits in_ SYLVIA'S _chair_, DANIEL
_in_ MRS. DERMOTT'S.)

DANIEL. Well, they seem to have upset everything else.

(_Enter_ GRIGGS, R.)

MRS. DERMOTT. Bring some more toast and coffee, Griggs. Or would you
rather have tea?

DANIEL. Tea, please.

MRS. DERMOTT. Tea then, Griggs.

GRIGGS. Very good, madam. (_Picks up remains of paper above Chesterfield
and exit_ R.)

SYLVIA (_handing him plate of mushrooms and bacon_). Here you are, uncle
dear--I'm going upstairs. Call me if you want anything.

(_Exit_ SYLVIA _upstairs._)

DANIEL. I will.

MRS. DERMOTT. I'm sure he won't.

DANIEL. Now look here, Anne, you're not to include Sylvia in your fury
against the family. She has been perfectly sweet.

MRS. DERMOTT. So she ought to be--and the others as well. Such nonsense,
I never heard of such a thing. Not being able to take a joke better than
that. I don't know what's happened to them, they were such dear
good-natured children. They used to make booby traps and apple-pie beds
for one another and not mind a bit.

(MRS. DERMOTT _keeps buttering toast for him, arranging it round
his plate._)

DANIEL. But you see, Anne, this perhaps has irritated them more than an
apple-pie bed.

MRS. DERMOTT. I don't see why, it's just as harmless, and much less
trouble.

DANIEL. If I had known they were going to take it so badly I should have
thought of something else. I have lots of ideas. But even now, when I
come to look back over everything, I don't see what else I could have
done.

MRS. DERMOTT. You're just the kindest old darling in the world and
everything, every single thing you have done for us, has been perfect.

DANIEL. Dear Anne, don't be absurd.