able appearances; and he often
hoped that he was at last emerging definitely from his precarious
position. His opinion varied a little with the good or bad fortune of
successive circuits. He felt that he might be sacrificing the interests
of his family to his own ambition. The domestic difficulty was
considerable. He had at this time seven children; and the necessity of
breaking up the family would be especially hard upon his wife. Upon the
other hand was the desire for a more satisfying sphere of action. 'I
have been having a very melancholy time this circuit' (he writes to Miss
Cunningham, March 17, 1869). 'I am thoroughly and grievously out of
spirits about these plans of ours. On the whole I incline towards them;
but they not unfrequently seem to me cruel to Mary, cruel to the
children, undutiful to my mother, Quixotic and rash and impatient as
regards myself and my own prospects.... I have not had a really cheerful
and easy day for weeks past, and I have got to feel at last almost
beaten by it.' He goes on to tell how he has been chaffed with the
characteristic freedom of barristers for his consequent silence at
mess. It is 'thoroughly weak-minded of me,' he adds, but he will find a
'pretty straight road through it in one direction or another.' Gradually
the attractions of India became stronger. 'It would be foolish,' he
says, 'when things are looking well on circuit, to leave a really
flourishing business to gratify a taste, though I must own that my own
views and Henry Cunningham's letters give me almost a missionary feeling
about the country.' He reads books upon the subject and his impression
deepens. India, he declares, seems to him to be 'legally, morally,
politically, and religiously nearly the most curious thing in the
world.' At last, on May 11, while he is attending a 'thoroughly
repulsive and disgusting' trial of an election petition at Stafford, he
becomes sick of his indecision. He resolves to take a two hours' walk
and make up his mind before returning. He comes back from his walk clear
that it is 'the part of a wise and brave man' to accept such a chance
when it comes in his way. Next day he writes to Grant Duff, then Indian
Under-Secretary, stating his willingness to accept the appointment if
offered to him. He was accordingly appointed on July 2. A fortnight
later the Chief Justiceship of Calcutta, vacant by the resignation of
Sir Barnes Peacock, was offered to him; but he preferred to retain his
pr