FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   >>  
hought to melt an iceberg with its glow, only to find at last the overmastering chill seizing my own vitals. It was not enmity that I felt toward them as they thronged me, but pity only, for them and for the world. Although despairing, I could not give over. Still I strove with them. Tears poured from my eyes. In my vehemence I became inarticulate. I panted, I sobbed, I groaned, and immediately afterward found myself sitting upright in bed in my room in Dr. Leete's house, and the morning sun shining through the open window into my eyes. I was gasping. The tears were streaming down my face, and I quivered in every nerve. * * * * * As with an escaped convict who dreams that he has been recaptured and brought back to his dark and reeking dungeon, and opens his eyes to see the heaven's vault spread above him, so it was with me, as I realized that my return to the nineteenth century had been the dream, and my presence in the twentieth was the reality. The cruel sights which I had witnessed in my vision, and could so well confirm from the experience of my former life, though they had, alas! once been, and must in the retrospect to the end of time move the compassionate to tears, were, God be thanked, forever gone by. Long ago oppressor and oppressed, prophet and scorner, had been dust. For generations, rich and poor had been forgotten words. But in that moment, while yet I mused with unspeakable thankfulness upon the greatness of the world's salvation and my privilege in beholding it, there suddenly pierced me like a knife a pang of shame, remorse, and wondering self-reproach, that bowed my head upon my breast and made me wish the grave had hid me with my fellows from the sun. For I had been a man of that former time. What had I done to help on the deliverance whereat I now presumed to rejoice? I who had lived in those cruel, insensate days, what had I done to bring them to an end? I had been every whit as indifferent to the wretchedness of my brothers, as cynically incredulous of better things, as besotted a worshipper of Chaos and Old Night, as any of my fellows. So far as my personal influence went, it had been exerted rather to hinder than to help forward the enfranchisement of the race which was even then preparing. What right had I to hail a salvation which reproached me, to rejoice in a day whose dawning I had mocked? "Better for you, better for you," a voice within me rang, "had this evil dre
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   >>  



Top keywords:

rejoice

 

salvation

 

fellows

 

remorse

 

breast

 

reproach

 

wondering

 

thankfulness

 

generations

 

forgotten


scorner

 

oppressor

 

oppressed

 

prophet

 

moment

 

beholding

 

suddenly

 

pierced

 
privilege
 

greatness


unspeakable

 
insensate
 

enfranchisement

 

preparing

 

forward

 

influence

 

exerted

 

hinder

 

Better

 
reproached

dawning
 

mocked

 

personal

 

deliverance

 
whereat
 
presumed
 
indifferent
 

wretchedness

 
worshipper
 

besotted


brothers

 

cynically

 

incredulous

 

things

 

groaned

 

sobbed

 

immediately

 

afterward

 

panted

 

inarticulate