ed. How is one to demean herself, under this
severe trial? Let her cherish no resentment. This will but aggravate her
sufferings and expose her to contempt. Neither should she dwell morbidly
on her fate, and nurse in her bosom the seeds of consumption. Rather let
the whole energy of her soul be given to banish the occurrence from her
thoughts, and let her seek relief from the Source of all solace.

The task of extinguishing our affection for an individual, voluntarily,
is never an easy one. They, who are called by circumstances to this
effort, should know that it can usually be effected only by a resolute
purpose, and by a force of exertion which, to those of strong feelings,
seems almost to rend the spirit in twain. Yet so it must be. As a lady
has well remarked--"to a frank and ardent nature," and such usually have
this sex, "reasoning on love is a useless pastime;--it can be overcome
only by an effort strong as the whirlwind, such as uproots the young and
vigorous oak, in its bright leafing time. Woman's warm nature must cast
it far away at once, though death were in the parting."

You may feel it a duty to reject the offers of a suitor. In this case,
let your decision be communicated in such a manner as to spare the
feelings of him, who cannot but be mortified, if not humbled, by your
decision. How can she maintain a clear conscience, or even a sense of
honor, who exposes a gentleman, under these circumstances, to the
derision of the public? Let no one share the secret, beyond the
precincts of your own family. Return all letters, and leave no evidence
of the disappointment of your friend, where it may be discovered.

She, who conducts thus kindly and wisely, will retain still a respect
for her suitor. If she lose his friendship, or alienate him entirely
from her regard, it is sufficient proof that there was something wrong,
either in the spirit, or the manner, of her refusal. Why should one sink
in your estimation, for an event unexpected on his part, and for which
he had seen nothing in your previous deportment, perhaps, to prepare
him? Let your conduct be judicious, and then, should he address himself
to another lady, she will not indeed have his first love, yet, unless
greatly prejudiced by the fact of his previous rejection, she may accept
his addresses, and be united to him, with the fair hope of a happy life.

Chapter XII.

CONDUCT DURING ENGAGEMENT.

Two aspects of the Future. Extravagant Anticip